Weekday Flip-off

If everyone out there thought only employees need to sound off on what a pain the workplace has been this week, think again. Here's what's been getting me down (please refrain from smiling smugly and instead empathize):

• People who insist on post dated cheques with the date space being left blank. Hello! did you just hear yourself saying post DATED cheque!
• Sly thieves who go around flicking air-conditioning units, copper wires, digital mouses (is this right) and keyboards. People who don't want to take responsibility for the equipment they use and create opportunities for such thefts to happen.
• IT engineers who claim that they are waiting for a sample to create an online leave application form. This after:
• The person in question has just got back from a 2 week vacation (for which he applied using the said paper form).
• I spent a whole afternoon designing an administration system with them (of which this is just a part of module one). "When are we going to get the whole system up and running? (Were you there in the meeting when we fixed deadlines?)"
• Conflicts between finance and administration. My common response:
• "Yes, you have to go to these people (accounts) for the money, even if I have approved the spend."
• "Yes, I do trust you, but the auditors don't trust anybody."
• "Budgets apply to every department. No department is above finance."
• Vendors who deliver the equipment to your location and forget to send the engineer along. "The agreement says payment is 90 days from the date of installation. Send in your technical team and then I'll speak to your accountant. I don't care if you are from a different department, I'm from a different company." (I know I mentioned vendors before, bear with me).
• Government organizations that take 6 months to complete a 3 month audit and inspection, because they're too cheap to pay for their staff to travel for one client, and try to batch process everything.
• Front office staff who:
•  FORGET to take down contact information for walk-in customers.
• Accidentally misplace feedback forms (which I'm guessing didn't favour them)
• Equipment finance company representatives who ask the 'CEO and Founder' (this is what he was introduced as):
• What his interest in the company is?
• Whether they can have the financials of our angel investors (a private investment fund)?

I will now stop ranting and raving, since I have to get back to work. However, be forewarned, I am going to set aside one day a month for work related vents. Please feel free to join me or chastise me.

Are you totally happy with your colleagues, employees, vendors and customers or do you have some secret / not-so-secret grudges. Feel free to shout out here. Come on, make me feel like I'm not a total biotch.

Minding your Ps and Qs

As I mentioned before and for those of you joining us for the first time, hubby and me run a diagnostic center. Last week we did a corporate health check-up camp for an entertainment company. Since it was our first corporate event, we decided to have a postmortem session this Monday with the core team and a few of the new managers. I have to say this was the funniest business meeting I have ever attended. If you are squeamish or weak-hearted please do not read on, some parts are weird.

The meeting was a Round Table (read group discussion). Everyone was asked to come with their own analysis of the event, basically 'what went right' and 'what we could have done better'. Here are some exceptional excerpts (sounds funny!):

Discussion 1
Manager A: Our clients found the phlebotomy (blood collection) session very comfortable - minimum pain and time involved.
Manager B: But I heard that one of the phlebotomists made 2 pricks instead of one.
Manager A: Even very experienced technicians can miscalculate the number of pricks, it's natural.

Discussion 2
Department Head A: I got the radiologist to review all the chest x-ray images. His feedback was encouraging, especially with respect to clarity and precision.
Head Radiographer: Since our exposures were of the highest quality, I guess all the customers where satisfied, especial the young women.
(Note to reader: High radiation is not advisable for women of child-bearing age. Our radiation levels are calibrated lower than most X-Ray centers.)

 Discussion 3
Manager C: I can't really give you first hand feedback, since I was out chasing clients. In fact, Ms. ABC of XYZ company, was very interested in our services and promised about 600 heads if we could meet their price target. She is available for a personal visit tomorrow evening.

Is it just me, or did any off you get the unintentional innuendos.

Disclaimer (Just so that I don't scare all of you off): The speakers where all professionals who are a little too involved with their jobs. They are not perverts. The rest of the meeting was very serious and there were no more slip-ups.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? Please share, so that I know it's a common phenomenon or that I have a giggly teenager living inside me.

Is the grass greener in the corner office or the cubicle

I always thought that it's way easier being the head honcho rather than working for one. Now I won't say I've had a sudden epiphany and realized that I was completely wrong. What I've come to understand is that maybe the saying 'the grass is greener on the other side' has some truth to it. (Remember the song in Disney's 'The Little Mermaid', 'Under The Sea'.)

At times being an employee sucks big time and you just want the weekend to come. I've had my share of bad bosses. That's why when I got a chance to be the boss, I promised myself that I would follow these rules:
1. Respect each employee as a fellow human being
2. Be approachable
3. Be empathetic
4. Be clear in what you expect of roles/positions/people
5. Stay open to constructive criticism

For about a year, hubby and I were busy laying the groundwork for our dream project and we had only a couple of employees. In the last 3 months we have gotten closer to launch date and have started large scale recruitment. This month we crossed the 100 mark and started getting a feel of what we were in for, on the employee front. The issues that we have faced till date can be largely categorized as:
1. The disgruntled employee, who feels a need to spread the negativity vibe
2. The person who applied for a certain role and once on-board doesn't want to play that role
3. People who accept offers and never turn-up (that is, they don't even let you know)
4. The trouble-maker who creates a mountain out of an HR molehill. Individually these people wouldn't have a foot to stand on, however they are good at inciting others (and we get to clean-up their mess)

This does not mean it's all bad. There are quite a few people who make working with them a pleasure. They come into work raring to go and waiting to give their tasks all they've got. The want to have careers, not jobs. These are the kind of employees any organization would be lucky to recruit. I have found these people to exist across all departments and levels, whether they are a member of the housekeeping staff or a department head. In fact, when I go into work every morning, I thank my lucky stars that we were fortunate enough to stumble upon such individuals. To offset the list above, let me give you one more list, a diametrically opposite one. These are the attributes that an ideal employee has, at least in my opinion:
1. Generally enthusiastic and proactive, though not interfering or irritating
2. Focused
3. Has the ability to think out-of-the-box
4. Eager to expand their knowledge/field of operation
5. Interested in mentoring others
6. A great team player

So hats off to all those people who make our work place a positive and bright one.