The Nanny Hold-Up

Happy New Year. I love fresh starts and the possibilities they promise. One possibility I would love is a proper vacation at an exotic location with some serious pampering. Right now I'm strapped for cash and time, so am trying to make do with virtual vacationing via the net.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but if I had to choose who came with me on a holiday, this is how I would think:
- baby free holiday (yeah, I wish), then definitely the husband. I mean we haven't had our second honeymoon yet!
- holiday with the baby:
   1. hmmmmmmm.....I can take the nanny and spend the whole day at the spa or
   2. I can take the husband (who is a great dad and will definitely make sure I get some time off to relax) but we won't get any couple time, as he's totally devoted to V

I think my holiday dilemma gives people an idea of how attached I am to my nanny. Ok, not my nanny as an individual, but the nanny figure in my life. I totally need her to get through the day, at least 6 days a week. If she has an emergency and calls in the morning to say she can't make it, I completely lose it. That's because I basically have to spend the next hour or so organizing my little one's day and I have to take the second half of the day off from work or work from home with a little voice asking "Mummy if I play quietly will you finish working quickly and be with me?". Then the guilt kicks in and I can't focus.

Since our business is a  start-up, I spend about 10 hours at the office and work 4 hours at home (after the munchkin's bedtime). So in an ideal situation I have a morning nanny who picks V up from school and takes care of her till early evening after which a babysitter takes over till I get home for bath and bedtime.

All this being said and done, I'm currently nannyless and juggling working and babycare with the hubby. Thankfully our babysitter is available in the evenings for her regular shift. I think our desperate straits are common knowledge in the nanny world, along with the fact that we run our own business. Every nanny who comes to us for an interview is asking a salary that's double of what the market currently pays. And the perks! Although at this point I'm pretty open to anything expect the nanny getting into bed with the techie.

On second thoughts, if she finds him attractive would she do the night nappy duty in-exchange and let me have a night of full sleep! Worth thinking about.

New Year Aspirations

This has been a year of learning and growing for me. I like to think that I have blossomed as a person through the experiences I have had. The year centered around:

• starting a blog
• learning to be a mummy (I think this will be an ongoing aspect of my life as long as I live)
• struggling to get a start-up on it's feet while working with the techie (we have learnt to understand and accept each other a little better, I think)
• handling more responsibilities as a daughter to my parents and in-laws (and trying to support my grandparents a little better)
• just listening to my little brother as he goes through some big changes in his life (lots more to come in the new year) 

I began blogging primarily to get back on track with my writing. However, I've been overwhelmed by the amount of strength I'm been able to draw from the small but close-knit circle of friends that it has given me. As a bonus, it's brought me even closer to another mummy-friend of mine, who was little more than an acquaintance in school (Darling, you know who you are).

For the new year, I'm not going to make any resolutions. I'm only going to aspire to be happier and try not to dwell on the past or have any regrets. Hopefully, I'll spread around some of that happiness and joy.

I'm signing off now with a whole load of love and best wishes for my bloggy friends, who have given me so much this year. See you in 2011. Here's *raise imaginary glass of champagne* to more sharing, caring, happiness and fun in the coming year.

P.S.- This is my 49th post. So am starting the New Year with post no.50. Yay!

A Few of My Favourite Things

Here is what's brightening-up my winter days:

• Watching Sully (the techie) and Boo (my baby) enjoying Monsters Inc together. They scream and boo and giggle all through the movie
• My morning strawberry indulgence shower and my baby smelling of fresh honey and toffee after her morning bath 
• Brownie pie (at my local coffee shop) with my afternoon americano (isn't it great how all those winter layers let you indulge without worrying about the effect on your hips and tummy)
• The seasonal glitter and shine every where I turn. "I love my bling darlings"
• Getting to wear my favourite leather coat on my mini-break last week (I haven't used it for three years!) 
• Meeting my BFF (and her new-born son) after a 2.5 long years apart 
• Climbing back onto the blogging bandwagon after a series of longish breaks
• Catching-up on great books I missed, like the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" series. One book down, two to look forward too
• My baby singing "My Favourite Things" from "The Sound of Music" at the top of her voice, while being totally oblivious to who's listening. I wish I could enjoying being "me" as much as she enjoys being "V"

What's cheering you up this December?

The Green-Eyed Monster

I really, really envy mothers who say:

•  "I never miss a day of blogging, because I blog in the mornings before my little ones (note the plural) are up. All you need to do is dash off your entry when the coffee is percolating or the toast is toasting (or some other @#$%^ing mutli-taskable activity is going on)"
• "I lay out clothes and accessories (which the toddler never pulls off) for the whole family before we retire (who speaks like this) every night. It makes life so much easier." (When? Doesn't your toddler hold on to your hand till she puts you to sleep and it's already 2 am when you open your eyes, so you just change beds?)
• "We love cuddling-up and reading a bedtime story before goodnight hugs and lights out. It's so soothing after my stressful day at work." (You read one story and end-up with a hug? I would rather face an angry customer than announce bedtime. At least the customer doesn't ask "why" after every statement/answer.)
• "I wore my first date dress, when the toddler was 10 months old. It was my anniversary gift to my husband - a fit, sexy wife." (I wore my 8th month maternity gown and maternity underpants while breast-feeding.) 
• "My husband and I are always in agreement over how to bring up our kids. We have similar value systems." (You have value systems? We have the good cop, bad cop routine down to an art. All our systems stop with the office.)
• "'Me time' is so important for a mother. I make it a point to spend one evening a week with the girls. The husband and I also plan a date-night every week to keep our romance alive." (I'm crying in frustration and have no smart comments here.)

I better sign-off now, before steam starts pouring out of this perfect mommy's ears.

Weekend Zen

I realized one thing this week. It doesn't matter how many brilliant posts you write in your head, you need to put it out in the blogsphere for it to have any sort of real value. So before the next weekend starts, here's a post I've been meaning to write for the past seven days. This is not one of those brilliant post (you need to hang out here regularly to get to read those), however, it's a special one.

Last week I decided that I need to be more like the techie. When he's with the little one, he completely enjoys her. I understand that I can never be the same, since a mummy's balance of fun versus responsibility is different from a daddy's (at least in my limited experience). However, I have also understood that sometimes you just need to have fun and throw caution to the winds, because this time with my daughter will not come back. So, I attacked the weekend with this learning in ,mind (yes, I can plan a fun day too). Surprisingly, just the intention to have fun lead to a spontaneous zen-inducing day.

On the weekends our whole family gets together to relax. So, we have about 7 kids ranging from 1.10 years to 15 years throw together. The first half of the day was pretty much par for course. Grocery shopping, family lunch and a movie in the home theater while the younger ones napped. Post naps we stepped into the driveway to perfect weather conditions, bright sunshine and a cooling breeze. That's when I hit on my first idea, hopscotch. This may seem a bit silly to some of you, but today's kids either play organized sport or spend time on the phone, in-front off the computer/television. 

When I asked for some driveway chalk they were all intrigued. By the time I had the first box drawn out, I had 10 people helping me. We ended-up with 2 different layouts and marked them as level 1 and level 2. This has to be the most fun game of hopscotch I have played in years. The little ones just had fun jumping, while the older ones loved the challenge and the adults actually got some decent workouts.  The perfect way to enjoy the perfect day.

We didn't end with hopscotch. The enthusiastic competing gave all of us a big appetite and I decided to make my favourite spaghetti arrabiata (I know it's nothing special, but we love it). My 12 year old niece loves cooking and wanted to help me out. My toddler is my current kitchen helper. So the three of us set off to blanch the tomatoes. By the time the tomatoes where ready for peeling I had 5 kids in the kitchen (2 of the boys joined in and the littlest boy decided to keep pulling stuff of the workspace). They all peeled and chopped the tomatoes, smashed the garlic, and halved the spaghetti sticks. (Breaking the sticks was their favourite activity, thought the flying pieces of dry spaghetti  almost caused a few injuries. I finally had them close their eyes every time they snapped the sticks.) Everyone had a turn at stirring the sauce and tearing up the herbs. The troupe even enjoyed the clean-up part. All this fun also resulted in food that everyone loved (there were about 15-20 of us that evening).

The best part of this experience - I spent a fun, stress-free day with my baby.

This is what I've planned for tomorrow's zen experience - jump rope competitions followed by tofu and vegetable stir-fry with buck wheat noodles. (The little one's running a fever today, so don't know if this will actually materialize.) 

What do you do for family fun? I love new ideas and am always willing to use my husband and child as guinea pigs (just kidding).

Star for an Hour

Today was another first for our company and me. The first time we were on air. Yes, we were interviewed on a radio show! (The techie has already been interviewed innumerable number of times on t.v. He has even been on the news. However, we'll forget all that for now and bask in our two minutes of attention.)

We had loads of fun, and I actually forgot all about being a mommy, wife and all those other things. The doctor, who was with me, was also a mother of two struggling to maintain some sort of balance in her chaotic life. We both left the home front to our husbands and raced out the door to have a fun morning with an early-twenty-something RJ, who showered us with compliments. We even had a mini photo shoot at the end (thank God, I wore my new Zara formal shirt and black diesel jeans) and got a lovely goodie bag. I did learn that I had to pick-up a little more on the local language though.

My mom heard the whole show (you can always count on them to be your biggest supporter and critic), while my daughter and husband listened in right through the pre-school routine. My angel was delighted to hear her mommy on the music box (I like to think a little more than see her daddy on t.v).

The show was a breakfast one and after each segment they play a popular tune. Half an hour into the show, they played a current favorite of my daughter's. When they finished the song and switched back to the interview, apparently my little angel is reported to have said "Daddy can you call mummy and ask her to talk later, I really want to just listen to the music"! So much for my soothing voice being the center of her existence.

Obviously, the CFO part of me came back to the office to find a bunch of tax returns on my desk. So, I bid a sad adieu to my two minutes of fame and got back to number crunching.

The Little Things I Do For My Mommy

I hate being coped up in the house and my munchkin takes after me. So any free time we get together we grab our stuff and rush put the door. We do movies (we even do late night shows on the weekend), shopping, eating visiting the library, going crazy on the beach, you name it and we've done it. Given our current lifestyle most of this is just me and her time.

So it's a given that she accompanies me into public toilets. Like I've mentioned before, for all my dislike of staying home, I do love having my own loo. Unfortunately, I'm not rich enough to have one follow me around, and I have a relatively weak bladder, so I have to use the commonly available ones. I refuse to sit on the seat of a public toilet without using a liner (when available) or covering it with toilet paper and my daughter is well aware of this fact.

At home though I allow my bum to touch the bare toilet seat I always stock a few extra rolls of toilet on the bookshelf next to the toilet. This is in case the current roll runs out halfway through my requirement.

A couple of days back I was rushing into the washroom at home for a pee when my daughter decided to chat with me as I relieved myself. Her reasoning, "Mummy you tell me stories to help me poop, so I'll tell you a story to help you pee". Simple and difficult to refute. She noticed the empty toilet paper  holder and immediately picked up a fresh roll and replaced it. "Mummy some silly person forgot to keep you toilet paper ready". (No really! who in my train of maids could have possibly made that mistake?) Then she proceeded to tear of little squares of paper and lay them on the seat. I was in pain by then and politely asked her what in the world she was doing. "Mummy, I know you like a pretty seat so I'm decorating it for you to sit and pee".
 

Peeing like a Big Person

I thought my little one was toilet trained and have been pretty free with her at home. Obviously, we have an agreement that she wear pull-ups when we are away from the home turf for more than an hour. She's fine with this since she hates public toilets and I'm paranoid about UTI (urinary tract infection) from using public toilets. Plus I have no intention of going diaper free at night till she's three and can get up in the middle of the night to pee. Apart from this she's toilet trained and hasn't even worn diapers to play-school for the past 6 months.

About two days back she did her usual "mummy pee" shout and I went rushing to get her to the potty on time. What I found, was her proudly hanging on to the proper toilet (with both hands) and standing in a puddle of pee. She gave me a big smile and said, "see mummy, I peed like a big person"!

Apparently, she saw my 6 year old nephew (I guess 6 looks big when you're two) peeing and thought she would prove herself in the same way. I obviously have a lot of explaining to do on 'how' and 'why' boy-girl peeing methods are different.

For the moment I just applauded and then explained to her that if we sit on the toilet we only have to wash our hands and not our whole body, so we save a lot of playtime. (Imagine, if she did the same in a public toilet! I wouldn't even know how to start cleaning those little hands.)

Any tips on how to tackle this? I definitely did not anticipate this stuff during parenting 101.

This is Special. Care to Share?

As the second challenge of the Back to Blogging exercise by the girls at SITS, we were asked to chose one post which we wish more people had read. Well, for me there was no hesitation here. This is my favorite post to date and one I really want to share with a lot more people. So here it is again.

Doing It All Over Again

Today's is my little brother's 26th birthday and I miss being with him. Even though I'm married with a baby, I can't believe my little brother is in his twenties, a successful trader who I see once in three to six months. I've always considered him my first child and still call him baby within our family circle (he would never live it down if I called him that in public).

We always were and are very close and both of us never imagined that we would live apart. In fact not very long ago, probably about 10 years back, we used to have animated discussions over what our shared grown-up flat would be like. We both share a love of books, and the only arguments we have ever had are over who would read the latest Wilbur Smith first, though we are very different in other aspects. My relationship with this baby of mine has been a defining constant throughout my life. First, I was his second mommy, then his friend and sister and now we are semi-equals (he still listens to me) taking and giving each other advice, support and love.

This unconditional love of a sibling is what I want for my daughter. This is the reason that, even though we can't afford another child now, financially or otherwise (in terms of time), I feel strongly that we need to have at least one more. The best gift my parents ever gave me was my brother and my child deserves the same sort of support and companionship. This in my mind has way more value than any other inheritance I can ever give her. Even after we are gone, she will have family to love her and for her to love, an unbreakable lifelong bond.

So though this entry has gotten a little mushy, I have come to a conclusion. However, tough it's going to be to go through the nursing, sleepless nights, potty-training and time management exercises again, I want to do it. This is truly the best gift I can give my baby girl.

Happy birthday my darling first baby, you are in my thoughts always. I heavenly you.


As you can see I wrote this post from the heart. Though this is true with a lot of bloggers, for me it goes two ways. I may feel strongly about something, however my writing style can also be objective rather than subject if the topic is not a personal one.


Anyway, back to the topic of my favorite post. What do you feel? Am I an exception in this generation or the norm.


*I'd like to thank the generous sponsors of this challenge,   Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.

Law and Order

I finally had an epiphany on why I haven't been able to blog regularly for the last month (excluding the vacation). It's because I don't manage my time well! Fine, I know it's not a a groundbreaking discovery, however, it does put me on the right path to getting rid of a lot of my stress.

What basically happens with me is - I start the day of fine, noting done all my tasks in order of urgency and importance. I even start working on the list with full concentration (I love striking of tasks from my list, so satisfying) and the best of intentions. Where I flounder is when an employee or family member interrupts and asks for my attention. I am totally unable to tell people to come back later. I have to resolve everybody's problems for them and before know it the day is over and I have over 70% of my incomplete list (to which loads of other stuff has been added during the day) staring back at me. In addition to this, I tend to get so involved when I have a writing task that I lose all track of time.

So basically at the end of the day, I rush home, feed my baby, play with her and put her to bed. The time I spend with her I'm totally focused on her, however if she takes time to doze off I get impatient because I still have to tackle my list and get it all done before the next day dawns.

See this is where I go wrong. I should be pressurizing adults to keep to a schedule, not a two year old who just wants some extra cuddle time with her mummy! So, I decided to bring in a clear time management technique to handle my day. Let me tell you there are so many techniques out there that you need to make a schedule just to go through all that information. I finally settled on two major tools that seemed simple and efficient.

The first one was pretty obvious, set out fixed time slots for:

• Internal meetings
• Interviews  
• Meeting with visitors

Obviously, family members will be highly offended if I set out a time for them to get in touch with me. So had to accept those pleasant distractions as they were.

The second tool I stumbled across purely by chance and almost dismissed. It was managing your time in minutes! Come on I work 12-14 hours a day, that's an average of 780 minutes. I was pretty skeptic about this, until I read that the world's best lawyers, who bill their clients by the hour use this technique to track and manage their time. I was sold, come on, if it's good for top-notch lawyers, it's good enough for me.

This is how the concept basically works. You split your hour in batches of 7to 10 minutes and then assign parts of a schedule task for each slot. Over the course of the day you finish all your tasks. Apparently this method keeps your mind fresh and alert since you spend limited time focusing on each task at any point of time. Obviously, if you have pressing deadline you need to tweak the system a bit.

Anyway, I've listed out my major tasks for today and am all set. Obviously, the first ten minutes are up, since I use them to write this entry. Wish me luck and I'll let you know how things work out. Who knows maybe I'll  use this to manage my mommy/wife time as well!

Introducing Simple Foods: Garlic Labneh and Three Cheese Dip

I'm not much of a cook and when I do enter the kitchen it's because something has caught my fancy and I am suddenly dying to try it. I won't tell you that all this changed when my daughter was born, however, I learnt to be a lot more creative in the kitchen.

The munchkin has weird eating habits, for a baby/toddler/child. She'll eat any diary product (is addicted to milk, any type), loves all fruit and veggies. The problem with her are carbs. She hates white carbs. The only form of carbohydarets she'll eat are hi-fibre ones - weetabix (with/without milk), mutli-grain cereal mixes, granary bread, wheat noodles - with pasta being the only exception. Though recently she has accepted rice and white bread, I still have a tough time getting her to eat a satisfactory (for me) helping of carbs everyday. So, to help her along a little bit, I started experimenting with simple stuff that she seems to love.

A couple of weeks back I was chatting with one of my friends, who also has a picky eater, when I realized that maybe what I've learn't along the way will help other mom's in a similar position. So here's the first of my simple food posts.

The munchkin loves dips of any kind and this gave me an idea. When she's doing her raw foods or high-fibre thing, why don't I give her a dip that rounds of the meal with protein and fat. So, here are two dips that I serve her and the suggested accompaniments.

Since I grew up on Lebanese food, this is my baby friendly version of labneh.

GARLIC LABNEH

Serves: 2 hungry toddlers

Ingredients

• 2 cups plain/greek yoghurt
• 1 clove of garlic - finely chopped
• A tsp of lemon juice (optional) or gated lemon rind - we like some tartness around here
• A pinch of sweet paprika powder (optional) - my nephew likes this addition
• 5 - 10 de-seeded black olives or stuffed green olives
• 1 tsp extra virgin olive oil 

Preparation

1. Hand the yoghurt in a muslin cloth, till most of the whey drips out. This should take between 45 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the initial consistency of the yoghurt.
2. Once the thickened yoghurt is ready, gently mix in the finely chopped garlic and paprika powder.
3. Just before serving, add the lemon juice/rind to the mixture and stir.
4. Decorate the mixture with the olives, top with the olive oil and serve.

Serving suggestion

• Serve as a dip for sticks of fresh carrot and cucumber, and wedges of firm fresh tomatoes.

3 CHEESE DIP

This second dip is a twist on the traditional crackers and cheese combination.

Serves: 3 - 4 toddlers, depending on how much they scoop up or spread all over themselves.

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp butter
• 4 slices of sandwich cheese - tear into bits
• 1 cup grated cheese - Gouda, Cheddar (any mildly mature cheese) - can also be chopped into little bits
• 2 tbsp Parmesan
• 2 cups milk - adjust according to preferred dip consistency
• 1 tbsp oregano/Italian seasoning
• Red chilly flakes (for adults or older kids)

Prepartion

1. Melt the butter in a saucepan on low heat.
2. Add the milk to the melted butter and keep stirring occasionally.
3. When the milk is boiling well, add the bits of cheese slice. 
4. Once the cheese slices have melted, add the grated cheese.
5. After all the cheese has completely melted take of the stove, mix in the oregano and chilly flakes. Set aside till warm (safe for little fingers).
6. Garnish with the the Parmesan, top with some more seasoning (if required) and serve.

Serving Suggestion

• Serve as a dip with Crackers - we prefer crispy wheat or rye.
• Serve on top of slices of toasted baguette or plain toasted bread cut into quarters (a good use for slightly old dried out bread) and decorated with cherry tomato halves.
• Serve with garlic bread. 

Let me know how you adapt these recipes to suit your little ones. I'm always on the look out for foodie innovation.

The List - I miss, I love, I look forward to

This is something everybody in my family knows about me - I love making lists. The techie says that I love my holiday 'what to pack' list more than the actual vacation. The first thing I do every morning at my desk (after 20 seconds of quiet time to focus) is make a task list for the day. (Secret: I then spend 15 minutes in blog land. Which none of my employees know about.) Let me add this is the only part of the day when I use a pencil/pen - there's nothing as satisfying as writing down a list. Also, I tried doing it on my laptop but had to keep the document open thorough the day to refer.

To feed this fetish of mine I have decided to do a list based entry, once in a way. No, no, don't close the page. These are not going to be boring lists, rather they will give you glimpses of the real me (is that part of the boring stuff) and maybe I can do some linky stuff with these posts, as well.

The inspiration for my first post came from this lovely blogger, 'Life as a CEO'. Hope she doesn't mind me being a copy cat. Anyway, the aim is to list what you currently MISS, LOVE and LOOK FORWARD TO at this point in your life. I'm going to limit myself to five points each to stop from writing a whole book.

So without further ado, here's my list:

• I miss....
• My family - we are very close knit, however, we live in three different countries now.
• High school - best period of my life. Does that make me sad? What I really miss from that time is, the lack of serious responsibility, my friends, the plans for my perfect future and being confident of who I was and what I was doing.
• Me time - reading alone at coffeeshops, art, spa visits, getting up late on weekend mornings. I still get a bit of all this thanks to my husband, however it isn't the same.
• Having spare cash -  a baby and a new business tend to be priority when it comes to shelling out the notes. More the business than the baby.
• Travelling - I've had vacation breaks every 2-3 months since I was a child. In fact, the little one and I took about 20 plane rides in her first year. It seems as if we are compensating for all that now (I haven't left the city for almost a year). 
• I love...
• My family - I have more people to love and more people who love me. I can describe myself as a daughter, sister, wife and mom - makes me feel special (I know it's silly. I'm one among billions of such women).
• Working with my husband in our own business - it's not perfect, and there are days when I wish we hadn't got into this. However, every morning when I get up I look forward to coming in to work, so it's definitely right for me.
• Planning our future - I spend quite some time drawing up detailed plans!
• Partly homeschooling my daughter - though the techie and I work full-time and can't really homeschool the munchkin,. We plan to supplement the standard school syllabus with some fun stuff of our own. We have already started with reading and math, next up are museum and art gallery visits.
• I look forward to...
• My dream house - we have a lovely house of our own now. However, I have been planning my dream house for the last year or so and hope to build it before my baby turns ten. I've even done the layouts and cost estimates, though I haven't figured in inflation. 
• Seeing more of the world - we plan to travel all around the world, hopefully with the whole family, and spend one month every year living in a different country.
• Writing a book - haven't decided what it's going to be about. My blog is where I sharpen my writing skills. Any tips?
• Running a half-marathon - I was running pretty regularly before I decided to have my baby. This also has me looking forward to getting fit again.
• Painting again - I plan to make some time, maybe about a year down the line, and go back to this old love of mine.  

So, that's my first list. It was pretty easy to write. I'm sure the moment I publish it, I'll think of 5 more points I should have included. Did you find it boring or insightful? Have I inspired you to make one of your own? Let me know if you do and I'll come over and take a peek into the real you.

Working Mummy Learns: Deal On

Since I'm being buffeted and torn apart by the winds that frequent the corridors of power (will go into that in another post), I decided to make the most of it by sharing a few tips on running a business. I don't claim to be an expert or a master of past experience, what I have to offer are just little bits and bobs that just might help someone in a similar situation. So, for all of you out there who are running their own business or planning to do so, this is one of the first lessons I learnt.

There are a number ways to get benefits from suppliers other than direct discounts.

I learnt this lesson after spending an average of 50 hours a week talking to equipment manufacturers and retailers who deal in medical supplies. Initially, I was focused on getting the best deal through a direct reduction of the quoted price. Most suppliers figure this into the equation when they give you the first quote, so to an extent I was able to get what I wanted. However, the final pricing didn't really give me a cost advantage over my competitors. That's when I sat down with my techie and asked him how he handled such situations.  Suffice to say we had a long discussion over dinner and my daughter's bath time and this is what I came away with:

• Focus on optimizing your overall cost rather than getting a flat-out discount. An ideal example would be a upgrade in the product chosen at the cost of the original product. - If you are going in for a desktop computer you could ask for a newer version of the Windows operating system at the original price quoted. - Obviously, you need to see value in the offer and not just go for the first thing you can get.   

• Workout a long term package, focusing on services, instead of a one time benefit on your actual purchase. - When getting your phone system set up, ask for a year's free warranty (over and above what comes with the package) and AMC services at a discounted rate.   

• Try to get complimentary products / services free or at a concessional rate, in the place of a price reduction on the main product - Speak to your interior decorator about getting your blinds and carpets for free when she gets your whole interior contract.

In order to ensure that you don't get taken for a ride when you work on these offers, always do your homework. Some points your research could cover are:

• Quotes from at least three suppliers who deal in the same product. The brand can be different, if you can't get dealers who sell the same brand. Ensure that you get the initial price and a price after a couple of rounds of negotiation (just talking on the phone can get you some great deals).

• Speak to a few existing customers and get details on the deals they got.

• Research prices on different qualities, models and accessories for the product. This will help you ask for those upgrades and complimentary products.

Actually, after writing this post I realized that we mummies can use these tips with the little angels. For example "Sweetheart, instead of going to bed after 5 minutes, why don't we snuggle up and read an extra story." So you basically have them where you want them and it's easier to get them to sleep after the last story, instead of starting the get into bed process all over again after 5 minutes. At least I hope things work that way.

Let me know what you think. Do you have any other ideas for me?

Sprinkles, sparkle and hospitals

I am guilty of the neglecting this fun, virtual sanctuary of mine for real life. After moaning about my lack of social life, the last 10 days have been crazy - good and bad. Here's what I've been up to:

• Our big anniversary dinner with the whole family (about 25 people)
• A 50th anniversary celebration for a family friend's of ours - the pre-dinner speeches revealed a lot of previously unknown information about the special couple
• Spending some quality time with my parents, who were down for a visit - actually my daughter monopolized them
• A two year old's birthday party at a 100 year old club - I had one of the toughest workout's of my life running after my daughter and nephew all over the massive park
• A house warming party - great business networking opportunity
• A film premier to launch my cousin's new movie theater chain - the movie was cliche, however it was fun to dress up a bit, plus the sound system was great
• A visit to the emergency room when the little one suddenly started running a high fever and screaming that her tummy hurts - we had a traumatic ultrasound session interspersed with bouts of vomiting, followed by a suppository. Not the best day   

All this clubbed with 12 hour (at a minimum) work days, makes for a pretty exciting life. I could start getting used to all the glamour and glitz, obviously sans the hospital visit. Sadly, all I have lined up for the month of July is a 6th birthday party for my nephew and the official media launch of our business, which is not as glamorous as it sounds and just means more work.
I have such bouts of activity (apart from the work part, which is pretty standard) only once in 3 or 4 months. So I'm expecting things to go back to the boring old status quo soon.

"Marriage is not a Job"......"But it's Hard Work"

I know the release of SATC 2 has been done to death in the girlie blog space, however, I think for each viewer it has it's own relevance (or lack of), so please bear with me. The advantage of being one of the last bloggers to review this movie (we get most Hollywood movies, at least a month after the international release) is that I can give a bit of the story away.

Warning: The last bit may contain spoilers.

The movie was my birthday treat to myself. It was pretty unexpected. I had actually resigned myself to missing the theater shows and watching it at home, since Sunday tickets are extremely difficult to get, for any movie here. It was a packed Saturday at work and I was racing like mad to catch-up, when all of a sudden three meetings were cancelled and I had more than three unplanned hours on my hands. Added benefits, the toddler was at home with the sitter, having her afternoon nap and the husband was tied up with his own set of meetings. So with no man along to pass snide comments or a munchkin who demanded toilet breaks, I set off for three hours of girl time. If I may say so myself, best birthday gift this year.

I wrote this blog entry in my head as I watched the movie (is that weird) and changed the beginning at least twenty times. I am a big SATC fan, however after watching the first movie, I was pretty sure that I would have outgrown the concept and this time I just went along with no expectations. I have to state - the sequel is better than the first movie and  SATC has grown-up with it's viewers. I could actually relate to three of the four characters. Hey! I can never relate to Samantha, though she's fun to watch.

The movie was balanced between the new and the old. Here was Carrie maturing and finally getting what a real marriage was all about,  while Samantha's character stayed true to form. Miranda moves on from her all consuming job to achieve a better work life balance, while Charlotte gives up a bit of her family time to create more 'me' time.

Then only people in the theatre who seemed disappointed were those in the 18-25 category. They felt that the story was'nt SATCish enough nor did it have any decent fashion (they maybe right here). Though Carrie has moved on from Manolo's to Louboutins.

These are the dialogues that really stayed with me (I may not be a 100% right on who said what and the actual wordings):

Charlotte: Marriage is not a job.
Miranda: Yes, but it's hard work.

Miranda: Being a mother is tough.
Charlotte: How do moms who have no help do it?

Samantha: I go to children's birthday parties for you. You are going to Abu Dhabi for me.
Miranda: Children's birthday parties, pulling out the big guns.

Samantha: We made a deal ages ago. Men, babies, doesn't matter. We are soul mates.


Carrie: You have to take the tradition and decorate it your way.

Charlotte: My first thought when I heard Samantha say Harry might cheat on me with Erin was, " Oh my God, I can't lose the nanny".

And it doesn't get more real that that ladies.

I think even my husband will enjoy the movie, once (I hope). He'll definitely like the sound track, 'True Colours' is one of his all time favourite songs.

There were a few goof-ups. One being a scene set in Abu Dhabi (actually Morocco), where the girls are urging Samantha to cover up, while there were bikini clad women in the background! Didn't expect that lack of attention to detail. The second one being, were the script writer inadvertently implies that the only reason a husband won't have an affair with a hot nanny is if she's a lesbian. Hello, please credit our men with a little morality here.

On the whole a truly enjoyable movie, where mature relationships, fun and a little bit of (not so great fashion) mix into a yummy cocktail. Might even get myself a copy of this one.

See What My Mummy Uses at Home

I think this post is going to make all of you a lot more sympathetic to the teacher I cribbed about in the previous entry. Cookie (that's what we call the little one at home) had her first bit of homework yesterday: bring pictures of two objects used in your house, for a class collage. Me being the aspiring modern mom, ignored the fact that the message was addressed to the parents and decided to turn it into a project. My rationale being, what is she going to talk about if she doesn't choose the objects herself.

So, step one was deciding where we were going to get the pictures from. The only solution I came up with was cutting them out of a magazine. Now, in our house we get two magazines:

• A magazine for entrepreneurs, which both of us read and also refer to for ideas. I couldn't destroy the back issues as we may need it going forward. In addition, I didn't think they would have too many pictures of household objects.
• Cosmopolitan which, again, both of us read. (Hubby when he's really stressed out and needs to laugh at us silly girls, or so he claims. Now you know his little secret) So my precious Cosmo it was. My logic being, this being a girlie magazine it has to have some practical women related advertisements. Plus, what other choice did I have. 

These are the pictures my little angel went for:

• A pot of Bodyshop's Body Butter - I totally approved of this, what could be more useful (and indulgent)
• A mug full of low-fat vanilla latte - which she insisted on calling "hazelnut mocha with skim please"
• A pink and violet fully loaded hair dryer - I have a blue one, so close enough. She loves to watch me dry my hair and get a second of drying too
• A tube of Neutrogena hand cream
• A bottle of Vaseline for Men body lotion - we really have this at home. She shares it with her dad and declares that she "loves her daddy smell"
• A bottle of Tide washing powder - this too has a place in our house
• A plate of double fudge cookies - I kept trying to get her to focus on the plate and not the cookies, to no avail
• The Burberry Summer perfume for men - she did gift this to her dad on his birthday
• A small pot of MAC shimmer eyeshadow - my mom loves MAC products
• A designer backpack - she claimed it was her Dora school bag

We finally decided on the Tide bottle (me), the mug (me), the hair dryer (her), the backpack (her) and the pot of Bodyshop Body Butter (her). Hope her teacher thinks that we like to get involved in our projects rather than that we are indecisive, considering the instructions said two objects.

When we were packing the cutouts into the pages of her notebook, one of them fell the wrong side up on the floor. When I bent down to pick it up, instead of an image I saw the words "show him your wild side". That's when I realized, pictures cut from a girlie magazine will have racy articles on the reverse. Picture her teacher seeing that along with her choice of products and imagining a house where we throw money away on luxury brands and swan around in fancy negligees all day. So we had to stick the pictures on white chart paper and cut along the curvy edges to create faux collage worthy cutouts.

Don't know if I'll be so excited about her next project. Maybe I'll just send her to bed and do it myself.

Worst Mother in School

Summer is over in our part of the world and my daughter went back to school today. Technically her play school opened yesterday, however we had our company's soft launch and I wanted her to be there for it. The little one has moved from 'Playgroup' to 'Nursery' and she was all excited about seeing her friends.  So I was prepared for a few tears at the most. This is what actually happened.

The moment our car stopped in front of her school gate, she claimed that her feet were tired and I should carry her. Since I anticipated spending some time inside settling her down and didn't want to be late for work, I just decided to give in and carry her. When we stepped in we were asked to go over and get her temperature checked (not with a thermometer, it was some sort of handheld device that they aim at your forehead) and clean our hands with a sanitizer. Apparently, there's been some concern over kids coming back from summer vacations with some nasty viruses. Now my daughter loves using the sanitizer, so imagine my surprise when she started screaming her head off while at the same time trying to climb up onto my shoulders!

Things just got worse when I carried my wailing child into her new classroom and she refused to get down and greet her best friend, who I must admit was looking stunned. I finally handed her over to the nanny who assists the teachers and was preparing to exit, when her new class teacher caught me:

Teacher: Your daughter didn't come in yesterday. She missed the first day.

Me: Eeeehhhh, yes. I'm sorry.

Teacher: This is going to make it tougher for her to settle in.

Me: I'm sorry, we had an important family event which I didn't want her to miss. (I understand, bit I see plenty of kids crying today as well. Plus, yesterday was only half an hour, the same as today.)

Teacher: You don't want her falling behind, do you. Unless a child is sick, she shouldn't be missing classes.

Me: I will try to keep that in mind. (Well it's not like she's missing advanced math or physics. All these kids do is play, colour, dance, learn a few basic concepts and have a snack. I'm sure I can help her with whatever she's missed.)

Teacher: Didn't you also miss the orientation program for parents last week.

Me: Yes, I'm sorry. (What do you expect me to do since it was on a weekday at 12 pm. Plus I got all the material beforehand and was prepared in advance.)

A very subdued me, kissed her sniffling baby goodbye and walked out, thinking 'I'm with you sweetie, I liked your previous teacher better too'.

Am I really that bad a mother? In my defense I spent the whole summer travelling 20 extra kilometers, so that my baby could go to the best summer camp in the city. And my husband or me were always there to drop and pick her up. I also participated in all the parent child activities, even though it meant taking a half-day off on quite a few occasions.

What do other working mom's do? Can someone give me ideas on dealing with teachers who hate working moms.

The New Dining Rules

I had the most uncomfortable experience yesterday. My daughter has two sides to her, the stay at home side and  what I call her public image.

At home she expects every family member to run circles around her and obey all her commands (this works with her dad and my parents, not me), does funny stuff to make me laugh or sings at the top of her little voice and asks us to clap after she finishes an act or song, insists on dressing herself and cleaning up her own messes (doubling my work) and generally looks down on those who don't do the 'I'm not worthy' thing every few hours.

Her 'public image' is completely different. By public I mean when the majority of people fall in the stranger or not too familiar category. She speaks softly, sticks close to the nearest family member, drinks soup without spills (don't know how she accomplishes that), politely asks us to get her what she needs (this includes checking if she can use the toilet or needs to go in her pull-ups) and let's us put on a bib for her. So, obviously when we went out for a big family dinner last night I was sure of having a smooth and enjoyable evening.

The evening started with her insisting that she wanted to eat with chopsticks. On being presented with a set, she very politely handed one back to waiter and proceeded to eat her noodles with one chopstick. The waiter looked at me (who by the way was using both her chopsticks) with a raised eyebrow and all I could do was smile sheepishly. Next she asked for a glass of watermelon juice and was told that they had fresh orange, grape and sweet lime juices. She smiled sweetly and asked if they could get her some watermelon pieces please. When the plate of freshly cut watermelon arrived, she took her water glass, and proceeded to squeeze the juice out of the pieces into the glass. I asked her to stop immediately and was told that she was teaching the nice man to make watermelon juice! Finally when I was busy having a conversation with my sister-in-law, the waiter informed me that my daughter was throwing her food on the floor. I turned to her in shock, only to be told that she was clearing her plate just like I had asked her too! The princess was sent to watch the fountain in the hotel lobby with her cousins, while we adults finished our meal. Hope she didn't think I was rewarding her behaviour, it was more a case of getting her out of sight of the hyperventilating staff

Someone please remind me to think before I give instructions to a two-year old. They 'literally' take you at face value. Or is this just my little girl? And I couldn't even scold her for being naughty, since I have told her that if she understands why she's doing something and I understand it as well, we will only discuss how we can do better. Oh! the trials of modern, rational parenting.

Mom, Baby and Me

I've had such a great weekend and I'm brimming with ideas for a post. However, I just realized that I missed my weekly book review and decided to catch-up with that today. 


Since I generally read 3-4 books at a time,it usually takes a while to decide on a book. Thankfully, or sadly (depends on how you look at it) there is no competition this time. The book that's really stayed with me is 'Like Mother, Like Daughter' from the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. 

I don't know what most people feel about the Chicken Soup series, I personally feel they are great when taken one book at a time with a substantial gap in between. I happened to pick up this particular book from my 12 year old niece's room on a quiet Sunday afternoon. My daughter and niece where busy cooking in her Dora kitchen and I just wanted to laze around. 


The stories were sentimental (what you generally expect from a Chicken Soup Book) while at the same time being upbeat and real! The realness (for want of a better word) of the mother daughter relationships was what got to me. Right from turning to your mom when you have your first baby, to the fights where we feel like they just can't let us go, I could relate to almost every emotion in the book. Apart from that, there where also stories that triggered off my maternal feelings and made me look at my excited little daughter with a gentle smile on my lips. From the pains of midnight feeds and tantrums to the joys of waking up to a baby's wide smile and little hug, this book has it all covered.


On the downside, I don't think you can read the whole book at one go, since it tends to get a bit mushy. The way I would use it is: first, obviously on the days that I feel down and overworked; secondly on the days when you want an idea on how to thank you mom or daughter for being who they are and loving you.


One thing the book reminded me of is that, life always comes full circle.


   

Doing it all over again

Today's is my little brother's 26th birthday and I miss being with him. Even though I'm married with a baby, I can't believe my little brother is in his twenties, a successful trader who I see once in three to six months. I've always considered him my first child and still call him baby within our family circle (he would never live it down if I called him that in public).

We always were and are very close and both of us never imagined that we would live apart. In fact not very long ago, probably about 10 years back, we used to have animated discussions over what our shared grown-up flat would be like. We both share a love of books, and the only arguments we have ever had are over who would read the latest Wilbur Smith first, though we are very different in other aspects. My relationship with this baby of mine has been a defining constant throughout my life. First, I was his second mommy, then his friend and sister and now we are semi-equals (he still listens to me) taking and giving each other advice, support and love.

This unconditional love of a sibling is what I want for my daughter. This is the reason that, even though we can't afford another child now, financially or otherwise (in terms of time), I feel strongly that we need to have at least one more. The best gift my parents ever gave me was my brother and my child deserves the same sort of support and companionship. This in my mind has way more value than any other inheritance I can ever give her. Even after we are gone, she will have family to love her and for her to love, an unbreakable lifelong bond.

So though this entry has gotten a little mushy, I have come to a conclusion. However, tough it's going to be to go through the nursing, sleepless nights, potty-training and time management exercises again, I want to do it. This is truly the best gift I can give my baby girl.

Happy birthday my darling first baby, you are in my thoughts always. I heavenly you.