New Year Aspirations

This has been a year of learning and growing for me. I like to think that I have blossomed as a person through the experiences I have had. The year centered around:

• starting a blog
• learning to be a mummy (I think this will be an ongoing aspect of my life as long as I live)
• struggling to get a start-up on it's feet while working with the techie (we have learnt to understand and accept each other a little better, I think)
• handling more responsibilities as a daughter to my parents and in-laws (and trying to support my grandparents a little better)
• just listening to my little brother as he goes through some big changes in his life (lots more to come in the new year) 

I began blogging primarily to get back on track with my writing. However, I've been overwhelmed by the amount of strength I'm been able to draw from the small but close-knit circle of friends that it has given me. As a bonus, it's brought me even closer to another mummy-friend of mine, who was little more than an acquaintance in school (Darling, you know who you are).

For the new year, I'm not going to make any resolutions. I'm only going to aspire to be happier and try not to dwell on the past or have any regrets. Hopefully, I'll spread around some of that happiness and joy.

I'm signing off now with a whole load of love and best wishes for my bloggy friends, who have given me so much this year. See you in 2011. Here's *raise imaginary glass of champagne* to more sharing, caring, happiness and fun in the coming year.

P.S.- This is my 49th post. So am starting the New Year with post no.50. Yay!

Are We Really Good Business Partners?

I've always found that work helps me forget my worries, so I decided to focus on something that I've neglected for a while, my "working with your partner" series.

Last time I posted on this topic we discussed how to judge if going into business with your spouse is a good idea. We focused on a series of questions/potential-conflict areas that would help us judge the suitability of such a decision. I had promised to give my answers to those questions and that's exactly what I'm going to do here.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the list when I decided to embark on this journey with the techie, so my answers may be (a lot) less than perfect. Anyway, I'm taking the plunge now:

1. Is this what you really want and is it right for you?: The first part of this question is pretty easy. The techie and I have discussed this since the day we got engaged. The desire to go into business together was the one thing we had  in common (probably the only one, till today). With respect to the second part of the question, it seems right most of the time because both of us are excited to face new challenges everyday and we can play devil's advocate without getting personal (well most of the time). 
2. Why are you starting a business?: We both seem to have the appetite to take on risks and we have a shared dream to help the less fortunate through our social business. 
3. Who's vision is it?: I'm not ashamed to admit that the vision here is the techie's. I'm more of the getting things done kind of person. However, the vision grew from our desire to start a social business and all the research we put in to determine where there was a market gap.
4. Are your expectations of work life-balance the same?: We are aware that this is going to be a big part of our lives for the next decade, at a minimum, and have tried to plan our personal life accordingly. In terms of priorities we see eye to eye about 80% of the time, which I think is healthy and partly because we are sharing our life on all fronts.
5. Map out areas of management and responsibility: Based on our core strengths, experience and qualifications, we have divided up the work-load as - the techie covers marketing, projects (expansion) and IT, while I focus on operations and finance.
6. Can your relationship handle this arrangement?: This is undoubtedly the toughest question of the lot (we seems to have started with the easiest). Initially, I didn't give this much though since we seemed to be compatible on the big stuff, however, it's not all plain sailing. There are days when I really appreciate the fact that we can complement each other both at home and at work, while on other days divorce seems inevitable (luckily these are few and far apart). 

So those were my two cents on what it takes to work with your spouse. Though I think it's useful to ponder all the above points, you also need to trust your instincts. Do you think we are really good business partners or just good partners? Let me know if there's anything I missed out or  if you need help formulating your answers.

Going into Business with the Techie

We are finally done with the public launch of our company and I can get back to squeezing in some blogging time. I've just realized how hard it is to write again when you have been on a break. The ideas are there, however, the flow is not smooth. Any tips there? So here's my attempt at putting my thoughts down on paper (virtually).

When people realize that the techie and I run a business together, the first thing they ask is "What's it like to work with your husband? Don't you get tired of each other?" I used to wonder about the same thing when I heard of such situations, before we started our little venture, and now I finally have an answer.

I hate it, however I wouldn't trade it for the world. Confused, well so am I, so you can keep me company.

The techie handles marketing and projects, while I run operations and finance. Point is we are always fighting over our different areas of operation and can't help discussing work to the exclusion of all else, except our daughter. This means we have absolutely no personal time. Secondly, at least in the near future, we cannot take a holiday together. Due to the size, nature and newness (pardon the word) of our operations, one of us has to be on hand at all time. This means we take separate breaks, if we do get to take a break. Plus, we have to be completely reachable and ready to take decisions (with all relevant updates and information) even when on holiday.

The benefits are that we though work long and unusual hours, we can support each other in all aspects including child-care (though the onus for domestic arrangements falls on me and business arrangements fall on him).

At the end of the day, I don't know if I can ever go back to a regular job, were we see each other only at the end and beginning of the day, even if we get to take family vacations.

Example, last week the techie went on a break with the boys for two days. I had loads of work since I had to cover for him as well. However, I was bored out of my mind since I couldn't pick-up the inter-office phone and pick a fight with him!

Don't try to understand me, I'm too complicated even for me. All I can say is, it's literally a 'partnership' in every sense of the word for us.

P.S. - Have just decided that this will be the first in a mini-series of posts on working with your spouse. Who knows what enlightenment I may get from the introspection and my fellow bloggers.

Philosophy - Who makes the rules

I'm not a philosopher by nature, nor do I enjoy politics, thought I love debating. However, there are times when I come across a certain type of thinking that makes me stop and ponder. Today, I decided to share one of those points of view that affect me a lot.

I read this in a Wilbur Smith novel*:
"There is terrorism from above - as well as from below...... If you define terrorism as extreme physical or physiological coercion used to induce others to submit to the will of the terrorist - there is the legal terror threat of the gallows, the religious terror threat of hell fire, the paternal terror threat of the cane - are those more morally justifiable than the aspiration of the weak, the poor, the politically oppressed, the powerless victims of an unjust society? Is their scream of protest to be strangled... Laws are made by man, almost always by the rich and the powerful - laws are changed by men, usually only after militant action."
 
What do you make of this reasoning? Especially when so many of us are parents?

Once your through thinking on that, read what comes later on, it's on the same topic:
"This is the test. No matter how much we personally feel the demands are just, yet we must oppose to the death the manner in which they are presented. If these people win their objects, it is a victory for the gun - and we place all mankind in jeopardy."

Writing is an art and writing which makes your readers think is a gift to them.

*I've reread all his novels at least 3-4 times and I learn something new every time. This guy writes from the heart and knows his subject intimately. I started reading his books when I was about 12-13 years old and still can't get enough.

The List - I miss, I love, I look forward to

This is something everybody in my family knows about me - I love making lists. The techie says that I love my holiday 'what to pack' list more than the actual vacation. The first thing I do every morning at my desk (after 20 seconds of quiet time to focus) is make a task list for the day. (Secret: I then spend 15 minutes in blog land. Which none of my employees know about.) Let me add this is the only part of the day when I use a pencil/pen - there's nothing as satisfying as writing down a list. Also, I tried doing it on my laptop but had to keep the document open thorough the day to refer.

To feed this fetish of mine I have decided to do a list based entry, once in a way. No, no, don't close the page. These are not going to be boring lists, rather they will give you glimpses of the real me (is that part of the boring stuff) and maybe I can do some linky stuff with these posts, as well.

The inspiration for my first post came from this lovely blogger, 'Life as a CEO'. Hope she doesn't mind me being a copy cat. Anyway, the aim is to list what you currently MISS, LOVE and LOOK FORWARD TO at this point in your life. I'm going to limit myself to five points each to stop from writing a whole book.

So without further ado, here's my list:

• I miss....
• My family - we are very close knit, however, we live in three different countries now.
• High school - best period of my life. Does that make me sad? What I really miss from that time is, the lack of serious responsibility, my friends, the plans for my perfect future and being confident of who I was and what I was doing.
• Me time - reading alone at coffeeshops, art, spa visits, getting up late on weekend mornings. I still get a bit of all this thanks to my husband, however it isn't the same.
• Having spare cash -  a baby and a new business tend to be priority when it comes to shelling out the notes. More the business than the baby.
• Travelling - I've had vacation breaks every 2-3 months since I was a child. In fact, the little one and I took about 20 plane rides in her first year. It seems as if we are compensating for all that now (I haven't left the city for almost a year). 
• I love...
• My family - I have more people to love and more people who love me. I can describe myself as a daughter, sister, wife and mom - makes me feel special (I know it's silly. I'm one among billions of such women).
• Working with my husband in our own business - it's not perfect, and there are days when I wish we hadn't got into this. However, every morning when I get up I look forward to coming in to work, so it's definitely right for me.
• Planning our future - I spend quite some time drawing up detailed plans!
• Partly homeschooling my daughter - though the techie and I work full-time and can't really homeschool the munchkin,. We plan to supplement the standard school syllabus with some fun stuff of our own. We have already started with reading and math, next up are museum and art gallery visits.
• I look forward to...
• My dream house - we have a lovely house of our own now. However, I have been planning my dream house for the last year or so and hope to build it before my baby turns ten. I've even done the layouts and cost estimates, though I haven't figured in inflation. 
• Seeing more of the world - we plan to travel all around the world, hopefully with the whole family, and spend one month every year living in a different country.
• Writing a book - haven't decided what it's going to be about. My blog is where I sharpen my writing skills. Any tips?
• Running a half-marathon - I was running pretty regularly before I decided to have my baby. This also has me looking forward to getting fit again.
• Painting again - I plan to make some time, maybe about a year down the line, and go back to this old love of mine.  

So, that's my first list. It was pretty easy to write. I'm sure the moment I publish it, I'll think of 5 more points I should have included. Did you find it boring or insightful? Have I inspired you to make one of your own? Let me know if you do and I'll come over and take a peek into the real you.

Office Romance

Last Wednesday was one of the rare days that the techie and I actually worked together for a while during office hours. We had to accompany the brand consultants on a site tour of a couple of our satellite centers. The weather was great since we had a mild drizzle which helped cool off the city, after a terribly hot week, and we where getting to spend sometime outdoors. In addition, designing and building the brand is one of the most creative and interesting aspects of running a business, which is what the exercise was aimed at. So I was already feeling quite chirpy.

Our brand consultant and design expert are really interesting people to hang out with and we had a productive   morning. We finished around lunch time by when I was starving, so we decided to splurge on a nice lunch, since most of our lunches are a 20 minute run-eat-run back routine during which we update each other on our areas of operation. We drove around looking for a new place to eat and ended up at this lovely little restaurant with a picture window looking out on to the beach. After lunch we strolled down to a local ice-cream shop and had  dessert. Though we ended up discussing the morning's work and our schedule for the rest of the day it was still some nice couple time, which we hadn't got in a while.

This episode has taught me to stay alert for opportunities in the future. Time is what we make of it and this little interlude will keep me going for a month at least.

I have to add that when we got back to the office we had a heated argument on the finances. However, all through that discussion I was actually smiling in my head.

P.S.- Did my title mislead you? Hey I'm married and not into extra marital affairs. Plus, the techie is the best looking guy at work (I'm not biased).

5 years and more to look forward too

Tomorrow I celebrate 5 years of marital bliss (well mostly) with the love of my life. In these 5 years I've learnt a lot about love, life, maturity, mummyhood and being myself. Some of the lessons have been sweet, others a bit tough to swallow and a few have been bittersweet. But what all of them have  in common, is the lesson that every individual is continually growing and we need to give ourselves and our family the opportunity to enjoy the growth.

My husband and I are together on our anniversary after 3 years (yes, we have celebrated only one anniversary together since we got married), so this year is all the more special. I am lucky to have married the first boy I ever fell in love with and I'll never take that for granted. So today's entry is just to thank my husband for being who he is, the best husband ever, a loving son and son-in-law, a supportive brother and brother-in-law and a dedicated dad who dotes on his daughter.

Thank you honey, for:

• never judging me (When I wanted to enjoy a book and coffee, he learned to read quietly at coffee shops even though he wasn't really a book person and hated to eat alone)
• being my friend and mentor (He helped me write my first real resume and I'm always told by interviewers that it is extremely professional)
• letting me learn things at my own pace (When we were dependent on my cooking, he ate whatever I cooked or if I just didn't want to enter the kitchen he was happy cooking himself or ordering takeaway)
• always being on my side (I can't give enough examples of this one. He has always been my techie in shining armour.)
• always sharing the parenting responsibility equally (He could take care of the little one for a whole day and night before she was one. Giving her a bath, changing nappies, giving her the bottle, soothing nightmares, he did it all.)

My partner in life and love, without you my life would have a far poorer version of it's happy self.

Dealing in Millions is Not Fun

Wait, before you judge me, I am not one of those people who has tons of cash and goes around saying "money does not buy happiness". I firmly believe that money does make life easier, especially when you can spend it on a pair of Louboutins and a Herve Leger bandage dress (gotta use those curves).

Unfortunately, the only millions I'm seeing are those I have to shell out as payments to my vendors. Vendors who don't deliver on time and still expect your cheques to be credited correctly. Vendors who send equipment and conveniently forget to send the experts to install it. Hey, I'm not talking about your average desktop here, these are high-end diagnostic and testing equipment. (My homeboy techie can manage all your regular electronic stuff, what else will he do with that fancy engineering degree)

As you can see I have a bone to pick when it comes to vendors, more about that another day. My main struggle here is managing business cash flows. Now I'm the self-proclaimed queen of excel sheets and when it comes to creating advanced models for business forecasting, I'm your girl. However, reality strikes when I have to juggle cash outflows, which do not coincide with the inflows. I have learnt my most important lessons in humility after we started this business.  

Take the example of last week, we had major equipment payments coming up, which I was comfortable with since we had scheduled for them. Unfortunately, the finance head of one of our investors was out of action for a few days and a cheque which we were expecting was delayed by a week. I had to sweet talk and cajole a whole bunch of people in the hopes that at least 25 percent of payments due could be postponed by 7 days.

Finally, we did get a bit of leeway and managed to balance the payments to fit the investment receipt schedule. However for that whole week, till we got the investment deposits, I woke up in a cold sweat every night, imagining bounced cheques, being turned out of the house and not being able to send my daughter to school.

Like I said, dealing in millions is not fun.

Is it financially easier running your own business or earning a salary? I always thought both had their pros and cons, but am leaning towards employment in terms of financial stability.

Doing it all over again

Today's is my little brother's 26th birthday and I miss being with him. Even though I'm married with a baby, I can't believe my little brother is in his twenties, a successful trader who I see once in three to six months. I've always considered him my first child and still call him baby within our family circle (he would never live it down if I called him that in public).

We always were and are very close and both of us never imagined that we would live apart. In fact not very long ago, probably about 10 years back, we used to have animated discussions over what our shared grown-up flat would be like. We both share a love of books, and the only arguments we have ever had are over who would read the latest Wilbur Smith first, though we are very different in other aspects. My relationship with this baby of mine has been a defining constant throughout my life. First, I was his second mommy, then his friend and sister and now we are semi-equals (he still listens to me) taking and giving each other advice, support and love.

This unconditional love of a sibling is what I want for my daughter. This is the reason that, even though we can't afford another child now, financially or otherwise (in terms of time), I feel strongly that we need to have at least one more. The best gift my parents ever gave me was my brother and my child deserves the same sort of support and companionship. This in my mind has way more value than any other inheritance I can ever give her. Even after we are gone, she will have family to love her and for her to love, an unbreakable lifelong bond.

So though this entry has gotten a little mushy, I have come to a conclusion. However, tough it's going to be to go through the nursing, sleepless nights, potty-training and time management exercises again, I want to do it. This is truly the best gift I can give my baby girl.

Happy birthday my darling first baby, you are in my thoughts always. I heavenly you.

Where do you see yourself ..... years from now

I've been asked this question from the day I finished 10th grade and I'm guessing most people have had a similar experience. Well, now, about 15 years down the line, I think we should frame a new question 'Is this where I saw myself, when I started walking down my path of dreams?'

I for one had a very different picture in my head. I planned to work in finance for about 10 yeas, make a ton of money, retire when I was about 30-35 to just paint and write and have a cozy little bookshop of my own. Oh! and I also planned to live in Florence and spend one month in every year exploring a new country. Yup, I was what you call realistic.

Today, I'm a year and a half away from my 30 birthday and my life seems to have gone off on a tangent. I've been married for almost 5 years, have a 2.5 year old daughter, have chosen to take care of my in-laws, left behind my investment banking job and run a healthcare business with my techie husband. But you know what, this life seems pretty good to me! Yes, we are currently strapped for cash, I haven't done any serious painting for over two years and this blog is my only form of writing. However, I am optimistic that we will, one day, travel the world together (it may be as back-packers or with first-class round tickets), I will definitely have an art gallery of my own and maybe this blog will give me the courage to finally write that book.

So here's what I'll tell my daughter when she starts planning her perfect life: Plan and work towards your dream but let life flow as well. You never know what path the river will take to reach the sea. It may be longer than you thought but also a lot richer and way more interesting.