Coping

This is what I've been doing for the past one month (and why I've been such an irregular blogger):

• 5.45 am - Get V's milk ready. (Though she stopped with her bottle at 1.2 years, she still needs to start the day with a cup of warm milk. She uses a straw)
• 6.00 am - Give V her milk and start on getting the house straightened out for the day
• 8.00 am - Get V ready for school - brush, potty, bath, dress, breakfast, vitamins, pack lunch
• 8.45 am - Drop V off at school and rush to work
• 11.30 am - Leave to pick V up from school
• 12.00 pm - Take V home and feed her lunch
• 1.00 pm - Settle V down for a nap while following up on emails
• 2.00 pm - Leave for work
• 10.00 pm - Leave the office (the techie was going home for V's bedtime, though there were days when he couldn't make it and I had to fit that in as well)
• 11.30 pm - Catch-up on work with the techie
• 12.30 am - Relax with a book and cup of herbal tea
• 1.00 am - Crash
•  3.30 am - Get-up for a quick nappy change before crashing again (I have no intention of night toilet training till V's three)

Now that the new nanny is on board, this week should be easier *fingers and toes crossed*. Pray for me fellow mamas and bloggers.

How do you cope with a nanny/daycare/babysitter crises?

I Am the Way I Am and I Can be Anything

When I had my little girl  I promised myself that I would do my best to ensure that she had oodles of self-confidence. My husband also feels strongly on this, especially after seeing quite a few young girls we know, become obsessed with their being skinny and trying to do stuff to fit in with their crowd.

We identified two areas that seemed to contribute to high self-esteem (in our limited opinion) - being happy with the way you look and the assurance that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind on.

When it comes to body image, I'm like any other woman and occasionally do analyze my imperfections, however, I never feel insecure in the way I look (even if I'm look as if I'm carrying a baby in my tummy right now). The techie and I have made a conscious effort to never give importance our looks and weight (except in a health context) in front of V.  What we focus on, when we discuss our physical appearance is:

• The importance of grooming, with respect to hygiene and being presentable
• Physical fitness and it's relationship with outdoor play

Despite all this, she's still very much a little girl who loves to play dress-up and use my flavoured lip balms! However, she's not obsessed with the actual results just the blingyness (my own word) of it all.

My mom has thought the little munchkin a song that I love and constantly sing to her and myself:

I AM THE WAY I AM

I am the way I am and I'm very happy with that

I may be tall or I may be short, my body maybe thin or fat

It doesn't really matter at all

Because I am the way I am and I'm very happy with that

Try this song, it really does lift your spirits and is so much fun to sing together.

When it comes to ability, I always think of the movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. In the 'Dream Scene'   Will Smith gives his son a long list of reasons why he'll never be a good basket-ball player. Then he does a complete turn-about and says "Never let anybody tell you, you can't do something, not even me". I couldn't have put it better. This movie is our all time favourite (the techie and I) and we constantly use the lessons to motivate ourselves and our child. 

Anyway those are my random thoughts for today. What are you very particular about when it comes to nurturing your children?

The Green-Eyed Monster

I really, really envy mothers who say:

•  "I never miss a day of blogging, because I blog in the mornings before my little ones (note the plural) are up. All you need to do is dash off your entry when the coffee is percolating or the toast is toasting (or some other @#$%^ing mutli-taskable activity is going on)"
• "I lay out clothes and accessories (which the toddler never pulls off) for the whole family before we retire (who speaks like this) every night. It makes life so much easier." (When? Doesn't your toddler hold on to your hand till she puts you to sleep and it's already 2 am when you open your eyes, so you just change beds?)
• "We love cuddling-up and reading a bedtime story before goodnight hugs and lights out. It's so soothing after my stressful day at work." (You read one story and end-up with a hug? I would rather face an angry customer than announce bedtime. At least the customer doesn't ask "why" after every statement/answer.)
• "I wore my first date dress, when the toddler was 10 months old. It was my anniversary gift to my husband - a fit, sexy wife." (I wore my 8th month maternity gown and maternity underpants while breast-feeding.) 
• "My husband and I are always in agreement over how to bring up our kids. We have similar value systems." (You have value systems? We have the good cop, bad cop routine down to an art. All our systems stop with the office.)
• "'Me time' is so important for a mother. I make it a point to spend one evening a week with the girls. The husband and I also plan a date-night every week to keep our romance alive." (I'm crying in frustration and have no smart comments here.)

I better sign-off now, before steam starts pouring out of this perfect mommy's ears.

The Little Things I Do For My Mommy

I hate being coped up in the house and my munchkin takes after me. So any free time we get together we grab our stuff and rush put the door. We do movies (we even do late night shows on the weekend), shopping, eating visiting the library, going crazy on the beach, you name it and we've done it. Given our current lifestyle most of this is just me and her time.

So it's a given that she accompanies me into public toilets. Like I've mentioned before, for all my dislike of staying home, I do love having my own loo. Unfortunately, I'm not rich enough to have one follow me around, and I have a relatively weak bladder, so I have to use the commonly available ones. I refuse to sit on the seat of a public toilet without using a liner (when available) or covering it with toilet paper and my daughter is well aware of this fact.

At home though I allow my bum to touch the bare toilet seat I always stock a few extra rolls of toilet on the bookshelf next to the toilet. This is in case the current roll runs out halfway through my requirement.

A couple of days back I was rushing into the washroom at home for a pee when my daughter decided to chat with me as I relieved myself. Her reasoning, "Mummy you tell me stories to help me poop, so I'll tell you a story to help you pee". Simple and difficult to refute. She noticed the empty toilet paper  holder and immediately picked up a fresh roll and replaced it. "Mummy some silly person forgot to keep you toilet paper ready". (No really! who in my train of maids could have possibly made that mistake?) Then she proceeded to tear of little squares of paper and lay them on the seat. I was in pain by then and politely asked her what in the world she was doing. "Mummy, I know you like a pretty seat so I'm decorating it for you to sit and pee".
 

Discovering Pure Joy

I'm not talking about some swanky perfume. Hello, I'm a mummy, we don't indulge ourselves with such wasteful pleasures, or rather we pretend not to and do it on the sly.

What's more important is, this weekend I re-discovered true joy. Don't you remember the blissed out feeling that  used to wash over us once we handed in our last exam paper of the term and had 60 days of summer fun ahead. I unexpectedly had that experience after years.

We were having a family wine session on Saturday night. There was some dance music on, the adults were chattering away and the kids were going crazy trying to keep up with the music and their made up moves. All of a sudden my mom (who does not touch alcohol) nudged me and pointed at my daughter. My little angel was dancing, not her usual bounce, but real dance steps. Crossing her feet, doing a gentle wave with her arms and best of all she had this totally blissed out expression on her face. I can't explain how or why, but for the next 15 minutes I was as oblivious to my surroundings as my baby girl. Her pure joy in dancing some how transferred it self to me and I entered this trance like state of total contentment and serenity.

If this sounds too New Age to any of you, don't worry, it feels the same to me. This is not me, I'm an overworked, highly-stressed, over-analysing individual, like most moms of my generation.

However, for those 15 minutes I was in a place I thought had disappeared with my childhood.

When I came out of my trance I nudged the techie and pointed at the munchkin, with the hope that he would get a glimpse into paradise.  

Peeing like a Big Person

I thought my little one was toilet trained and have been pretty free with her at home. Obviously, we have an agreement that she wear pull-ups when we are away from the home turf for more than an hour. She's fine with this since she hates public toilets and I'm paranoid about UTI (urinary tract infection) from using public toilets. Plus I have no intention of going diaper free at night till she's three and can get up in the middle of the night to pee. Apart from this she's toilet trained and hasn't even worn diapers to play-school for the past 6 months.

About two days back she did her usual "mummy pee" shout and I went rushing to get her to the potty on time. What I found, was her proudly hanging on to the proper toilet (with both hands) and standing in a puddle of pee. She gave me a big smile and said, "see mummy, I peed like a big person"!

Apparently, she saw my 6 year old nephew (I guess 6 looks big when you're two) peeing and thought she would prove herself in the same way. I obviously have a lot of explaining to do on 'how' and 'why' boy-girl peeing methods are different.

For the moment I just applauded and then explained to her that if we sit on the toilet we only have to wash our hands and not our whole body, so we save a lot of playtime. (Imagine, if she did the same in a public toilet! I wouldn't even know how to start cleaning those little hands.)

Any tips on how to tackle this? I definitely did not anticipate this stuff during parenting 101.

Title of Substance

This was the third post I wrote on this blog. It was the first time I used a title that distilled the gist of what I was trying to convey (or at least I thought so). Most of my titles are pretty subject focused rather than substance focused (if that makes any sense). I hope I've piqued your interest enough to get you to read on.

"Wrong Shoes Mummy"


My mornings seem to be unbelievably busy, though all I do is feed my daughter breakfast and make her use the potty (my husband does this on my yoga mornings) before getting both of us ready. The rush is despite the fact that I organize all our clothes and other stuff the previous night.

I invariably lose my cool, when my daughter starts choosing what footwear she wants to wear to school. I mean she just turned 2 in April, isn't it too early for her to have a fashion sense? Anyway, this crazy morning rush was what caused one of my most uncomfortable days at work (since we started our own business).

It was a usual weekday morning and I had just about managed to get everyone in the car (we drop our daughter off at school on the way to work). The little one kept saying "Mummy, wrong shoes, wrong shoes". I shushed her with a "behave yourself" as I tried to feed her the cereal she had refused to eat at home. When we finally got to school she gave my husband a big hug and kiss before getting off. While I walked her to the gate, she had a last try "Mummy, your shoes are wrong" (she often gets mine and yours mixed-up). I ignored her comments and hugged her, she in turn gave me a kiss and a confused stare before heading indoors with her favorite teacher.

Half an hour later, I was holding my first discussion of the day in the corridor of our office, even before I reached my desk, when my accountant walked past and gave me a quizzical look. I smiled at her and continued the conversation. Throughout the day I kept getting these confused stares from people and couldn't figure them out. I finally found out why when I bent down to retrieve a fallen bill. Horror of horrors, I had worn my water-proof house-slippers, the variety with a red and black floral design to work!

While I was busy shushing her, my poor little baby was trying to save me from embarrassing myself at work. Now, I pay a lot more attention to her morning comments and try and stop myself from shushing her in general. I've realized one thing, she is totally focused on the moment, unlike her preoccupied mom.

I have a lot to learn from you my sweetheart.


Does the title suit the post? What title would you have used for this entry?


*Thank you to the SITS girls and their wonderful sponsors, sponsors, Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances for getting me out of a blogging slump with this challenge.

Introducing Simple Foods: Garlic Labneh and Three Cheese Dip

I'm not much of a cook and when I do enter the kitchen it's because something has caught my fancy and I am suddenly dying to try it. I won't tell you that all this changed when my daughter was born, however, I learnt to be a lot more creative in the kitchen.

The munchkin has weird eating habits, for a baby/toddler/child. She'll eat any diary product (is addicted to milk, any type), loves all fruit and veggies. The problem with her are carbs. She hates white carbs. The only form of carbohydarets she'll eat are hi-fibre ones - weetabix (with/without milk), mutli-grain cereal mixes, granary bread, wheat noodles - with pasta being the only exception. Though recently she has accepted rice and white bread, I still have a tough time getting her to eat a satisfactory (for me) helping of carbs everyday. So, to help her along a little bit, I started experimenting with simple stuff that she seems to love.

A couple of weeks back I was chatting with one of my friends, who also has a picky eater, when I realized that maybe what I've learn't along the way will help other mom's in a similar position. So here's the first of my simple food posts.

The munchkin loves dips of any kind and this gave me an idea. When she's doing her raw foods or high-fibre thing, why don't I give her a dip that rounds of the meal with protein and fat. So, here are two dips that I serve her and the suggested accompaniments.

Since I grew up on Lebanese food, this is my baby friendly version of labneh.

GARLIC LABNEH

Serves: 2 hungry toddlers

Ingredients

• 2 cups plain/greek yoghurt
• 1 clove of garlic - finely chopped
• A tsp of lemon juice (optional) or gated lemon rind - we like some tartness around here
• A pinch of sweet paprika powder (optional) - my nephew likes this addition
• 5 - 10 de-seeded black olives or stuffed green olives
• 1 tsp extra virgin olive oil 

Preparation

1. Hand the yoghurt in a muslin cloth, till most of the whey drips out. This should take between 45 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the initial consistency of the yoghurt.
2. Once the thickened yoghurt is ready, gently mix in the finely chopped garlic and paprika powder.
3. Just before serving, add the lemon juice/rind to the mixture and stir.
4. Decorate the mixture with the olives, top with the olive oil and serve.

Serving suggestion

• Serve as a dip for sticks of fresh carrot and cucumber, and wedges of firm fresh tomatoes.

3 CHEESE DIP

This second dip is a twist on the traditional crackers and cheese combination.

Serves: 3 - 4 toddlers, depending on how much they scoop up or spread all over themselves.

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp butter
• 4 slices of sandwich cheese - tear into bits
• 1 cup grated cheese - Gouda, Cheddar (any mildly mature cheese) - can also be chopped into little bits
• 2 tbsp Parmesan
• 2 cups milk - adjust according to preferred dip consistency
• 1 tbsp oregano/Italian seasoning
• Red chilly flakes (for adults or older kids)

Prepartion

1. Melt the butter in a saucepan on low heat.
2. Add the milk to the melted butter and keep stirring occasionally.
3. When the milk is boiling well, add the bits of cheese slice. 
4. Once the cheese slices have melted, add the grated cheese.
5. After all the cheese has completely melted take of the stove, mix in the oregano and chilly flakes. Set aside till warm (safe for little fingers).
6. Garnish with the the Parmesan, top with some more seasoning (if required) and serve.

Serving Suggestion

• Serve as a dip with Crackers - we prefer crispy wheat or rye.
• Serve on top of slices of toasted baguette or plain toasted bread cut into quarters (a good use for slightly old dried out bread) and decorated with cherry tomato halves.
• Serve with garlic bread. 

Let me know how you adapt these recipes to suit your little ones. I'm always on the look out for foodie innovation.

The List - I miss, I love, I look forward to

This is something everybody in my family knows about me - I love making lists. The techie says that I love my holiday 'what to pack' list more than the actual vacation. The first thing I do every morning at my desk (after 20 seconds of quiet time to focus) is make a task list for the day. (Secret: I then spend 15 minutes in blog land. Which none of my employees know about.) Let me add this is the only part of the day when I use a pencil/pen - there's nothing as satisfying as writing down a list. Also, I tried doing it on my laptop but had to keep the document open thorough the day to refer.

To feed this fetish of mine I have decided to do a list based entry, once in a way. No, no, don't close the page. These are not going to be boring lists, rather they will give you glimpses of the real me (is that part of the boring stuff) and maybe I can do some linky stuff with these posts, as well.

The inspiration for my first post came from this lovely blogger, 'Life as a CEO'. Hope she doesn't mind me being a copy cat. Anyway, the aim is to list what you currently MISS, LOVE and LOOK FORWARD TO at this point in your life. I'm going to limit myself to five points each to stop from writing a whole book.

So without further ado, here's my list:

• I miss....
• My family - we are very close knit, however, we live in three different countries now.
• High school - best period of my life. Does that make me sad? What I really miss from that time is, the lack of serious responsibility, my friends, the plans for my perfect future and being confident of who I was and what I was doing.
• Me time - reading alone at coffeeshops, art, spa visits, getting up late on weekend mornings. I still get a bit of all this thanks to my husband, however it isn't the same.
• Having spare cash -  a baby and a new business tend to be priority when it comes to shelling out the notes. More the business than the baby.
• Travelling - I've had vacation breaks every 2-3 months since I was a child. In fact, the little one and I took about 20 plane rides in her first year. It seems as if we are compensating for all that now (I haven't left the city for almost a year). 
• I love...
• My family - I have more people to love and more people who love me. I can describe myself as a daughter, sister, wife and mom - makes me feel special (I know it's silly. I'm one among billions of such women).
• Working with my husband in our own business - it's not perfect, and there are days when I wish we hadn't got into this. However, every morning when I get up I look forward to coming in to work, so it's definitely right for me.
• Planning our future - I spend quite some time drawing up detailed plans!
• Partly homeschooling my daughter - though the techie and I work full-time and can't really homeschool the munchkin,. We plan to supplement the standard school syllabus with some fun stuff of our own. We have already started with reading and math, next up are museum and art gallery visits.
• I look forward to...
• My dream house - we have a lovely house of our own now. However, I have been planning my dream house for the last year or so and hope to build it before my baby turns ten. I've even done the layouts and cost estimates, though I haven't figured in inflation. 
• Seeing more of the world - we plan to travel all around the world, hopefully with the whole family, and spend one month every year living in a different country.
• Writing a book - haven't decided what it's going to be about. My blog is where I sharpen my writing skills. Any tips?
• Running a half-marathon - I was running pretty regularly before I decided to have my baby. This also has me looking forward to getting fit again.
• Painting again - I plan to make some time, maybe about a year down the line, and go back to this old love of mine.  

So, that's my first list. It was pretty easy to write. I'm sure the moment I publish it, I'll think of 5 more points I should have included. Did you find it boring or insightful? Have I inspired you to make one of your own? Let me know if you do and I'll come over and take a peek into the real you.

Sprinkles, sparkle and hospitals

I am guilty of the neglecting this fun, virtual sanctuary of mine for real life. After moaning about my lack of social life, the last 10 days have been crazy - good and bad. Here's what I've been up to:

• Our big anniversary dinner with the whole family (about 25 people)
• A 50th anniversary celebration for a family friend's of ours - the pre-dinner speeches revealed a lot of previously unknown information about the special couple
• Spending some quality time with my parents, who were down for a visit - actually my daughter monopolized them
• A two year old's birthday party at a 100 year old club - I had one of the toughest workout's of my life running after my daughter and nephew all over the massive park
• A house warming party - great business networking opportunity
• A film premier to launch my cousin's new movie theater chain - the movie was cliche, however it was fun to dress up a bit, plus the sound system was great
• A visit to the emergency room when the little one suddenly started running a high fever and screaming that her tummy hurts - we had a traumatic ultrasound session interspersed with bouts of vomiting, followed by a suppository. Not the best day   

All this clubbed with 12 hour (at a minimum) work days, makes for a pretty exciting life. I could start getting used to all the glamour and glitz, obviously sans the hospital visit. Sadly, all I have lined up for the month of July is a 6th birthday party for my nephew and the official media launch of our business, which is not as glamorous as it sounds and just means more work.
I have such bouts of activity (apart from the work part, which is pretty standard) only once in 3 or 4 months. So I'm expecting things to go back to the boring old status quo soon.

"Marriage is not a Job"......"But it's Hard Work"

I know the release of SATC 2 has been done to death in the girlie blog space, however, I think for each viewer it has it's own relevance (or lack of), so please bear with me. The advantage of being one of the last bloggers to review this movie (we get most Hollywood movies, at least a month after the international release) is that I can give a bit of the story away.

Warning: The last bit may contain spoilers.

The movie was my birthday treat to myself. It was pretty unexpected. I had actually resigned myself to missing the theater shows and watching it at home, since Sunday tickets are extremely difficult to get, for any movie here. It was a packed Saturday at work and I was racing like mad to catch-up, when all of a sudden three meetings were cancelled and I had more than three unplanned hours on my hands. Added benefits, the toddler was at home with the sitter, having her afternoon nap and the husband was tied up with his own set of meetings. So with no man along to pass snide comments or a munchkin who demanded toilet breaks, I set off for three hours of girl time. If I may say so myself, best birthday gift this year.

I wrote this blog entry in my head as I watched the movie (is that weird) and changed the beginning at least twenty times. I am a big SATC fan, however after watching the first movie, I was pretty sure that I would have outgrown the concept and this time I just went along with no expectations. I have to state - the sequel is better than the first movie and  SATC has grown-up with it's viewers. I could actually relate to three of the four characters. Hey! I can never relate to Samantha, though she's fun to watch.

The movie was balanced between the new and the old. Here was Carrie maturing and finally getting what a real marriage was all about,  while Samantha's character stayed true to form. Miranda moves on from her all consuming job to achieve a better work life balance, while Charlotte gives up a bit of her family time to create more 'me' time.

Then only people in the theatre who seemed disappointed were those in the 18-25 category. They felt that the story was'nt SATCish enough nor did it have any decent fashion (they maybe right here). Though Carrie has moved on from Manolo's to Louboutins.

These are the dialogues that really stayed with me (I may not be a 100% right on who said what and the actual wordings):

Charlotte: Marriage is not a job.
Miranda: Yes, but it's hard work.

Miranda: Being a mother is tough.
Charlotte: How do moms who have no help do it?

Samantha: I go to children's birthday parties for you. You are going to Abu Dhabi for me.
Miranda: Children's birthday parties, pulling out the big guns.

Samantha: We made a deal ages ago. Men, babies, doesn't matter. We are soul mates.


Carrie: You have to take the tradition and decorate it your way.

Charlotte: My first thought when I heard Samantha say Harry might cheat on me with Erin was, " Oh my God, I can't lose the nanny".

And it doesn't get more real that that ladies.

I think even my husband will enjoy the movie, once (I hope). He'll definitely like the sound track, 'True Colours' is one of his all time favourite songs.

There were a few goof-ups. One being a scene set in Abu Dhabi (actually Morocco), where the girls are urging Samantha to cover up, while there were bikini clad women in the background! Didn't expect that lack of attention to detail. The second one being, were the script writer inadvertently implies that the only reason a husband won't have an affair with a hot nanny is if she's a lesbian. Hello, please credit our men with a little morality here.

On the whole a truly enjoyable movie, where mature relationships, fun and a little bit of (not so great fashion) mix into a yummy cocktail. Might even get myself a copy of this one.

See What My Mummy Uses at Home

I think this post is going to make all of you a lot more sympathetic to the teacher I cribbed about in the previous entry. Cookie (that's what we call the little one at home) had her first bit of homework yesterday: bring pictures of two objects used in your house, for a class collage. Me being the aspiring modern mom, ignored the fact that the message was addressed to the parents and decided to turn it into a project. My rationale being, what is she going to talk about if she doesn't choose the objects herself.

So, step one was deciding where we were going to get the pictures from. The only solution I came up with was cutting them out of a magazine. Now, in our house we get two magazines:

• A magazine for entrepreneurs, which both of us read and also refer to for ideas. I couldn't destroy the back issues as we may need it going forward. In addition, I didn't think they would have too many pictures of household objects.
• Cosmopolitan which, again, both of us read. (Hubby when he's really stressed out and needs to laugh at us silly girls, or so he claims. Now you know his little secret) So my precious Cosmo it was. My logic being, this being a girlie magazine it has to have some practical women related advertisements. Plus, what other choice did I have. 

These are the pictures my little angel went for:

• A pot of Bodyshop's Body Butter - I totally approved of this, what could be more useful (and indulgent)
• A mug full of low-fat vanilla latte - which she insisted on calling "hazelnut mocha with skim please"
• A pink and violet fully loaded hair dryer - I have a blue one, so close enough. She loves to watch me dry my hair and get a second of drying too
• A tube of Neutrogena hand cream
• A bottle of Vaseline for Men body lotion - we really have this at home. She shares it with her dad and declares that she "loves her daddy smell"
• A bottle of Tide washing powder - this too has a place in our house
• A plate of double fudge cookies - I kept trying to get her to focus on the plate and not the cookies, to no avail
• The Burberry Summer perfume for men - she did gift this to her dad on his birthday
• A small pot of MAC shimmer eyeshadow - my mom loves MAC products
• A designer backpack - she claimed it was her Dora school bag

We finally decided on the Tide bottle (me), the mug (me), the hair dryer (her), the backpack (her) and the pot of Bodyshop Body Butter (her). Hope her teacher thinks that we like to get involved in our projects rather than that we are indecisive, considering the instructions said two objects.

When we were packing the cutouts into the pages of her notebook, one of them fell the wrong side up on the floor. When I bent down to pick it up, instead of an image I saw the words "show him your wild side". That's when I realized, pictures cut from a girlie magazine will have racy articles on the reverse. Picture her teacher seeing that along with her choice of products and imagining a house where we throw money away on luxury brands and swan around in fancy negligees all day. So we had to stick the pictures on white chart paper and cut along the curvy edges to create faux collage worthy cutouts.

Don't know if I'll be so excited about her next project. Maybe I'll just send her to bed and do it myself.

Worst Mother in School

Summer is over in our part of the world and my daughter went back to school today. Technically her play school opened yesterday, however we had our company's soft launch and I wanted her to be there for it. The little one has moved from 'Playgroup' to 'Nursery' and she was all excited about seeing her friends.  So I was prepared for a few tears at the most. This is what actually happened.

The moment our car stopped in front of her school gate, she claimed that her feet were tired and I should carry her. Since I anticipated spending some time inside settling her down and didn't want to be late for work, I just decided to give in and carry her. When we stepped in we were asked to go over and get her temperature checked (not with a thermometer, it was some sort of handheld device that they aim at your forehead) and clean our hands with a sanitizer. Apparently, there's been some concern over kids coming back from summer vacations with some nasty viruses. Now my daughter loves using the sanitizer, so imagine my surprise when she started screaming her head off while at the same time trying to climb up onto my shoulders!

Things just got worse when I carried my wailing child into her new classroom and she refused to get down and greet her best friend, who I must admit was looking stunned. I finally handed her over to the nanny who assists the teachers and was preparing to exit, when her new class teacher caught me:

Teacher: Your daughter didn't come in yesterday. She missed the first day.

Me: Eeeehhhh, yes. I'm sorry.

Teacher: This is going to make it tougher for her to settle in.

Me: I'm sorry, we had an important family event which I didn't want her to miss. (I understand, bit I see plenty of kids crying today as well. Plus, yesterday was only half an hour, the same as today.)

Teacher: You don't want her falling behind, do you. Unless a child is sick, she shouldn't be missing classes.

Me: I will try to keep that in mind. (Well it's not like she's missing advanced math or physics. All these kids do is play, colour, dance, learn a few basic concepts and have a snack. I'm sure I can help her with whatever she's missed.)

Teacher: Didn't you also miss the orientation program for parents last week.

Me: Yes, I'm sorry. (What do you expect me to do since it was on a weekday at 12 pm. Plus I got all the material beforehand and was prepared in advance.)

A very subdued me, kissed her sniffling baby goodbye and walked out, thinking 'I'm with you sweetie, I liked your previous teacher better too'.

Am I really that bad a mother? In my defense I spent the whole summer travelling 20 extra kilometers, so that my baby could go to the best summer camp in the city. And my husband or me were always there to drop and pick her up. I also participated in all the parent child activities, even though it meant taking a half-day off on quite a few occasions.

What do other working mom's do? Can someone give me ideas on dealing with teachers who hate working moms.

The New Dining Rules

I had the most uncomfortable experience yesterday. My daughter has two sides to her, the stay at home side and  what I call her public image.

At home she expects every family member to run circles around her and obey all her commands (this works with her dad and my parents, not me), does funny stuff to make me laugh or sings at the top of her little voice and asks us to clap after she finishes an act or song, insists on dressing herself and cleaning up her own messes (doubling my work) and generally looks down on those who don't do the 'I'm not worthy' thing every few hours.

Her 'public image' is completely different. By public I mean when the majority of people fall in the stranger or not too familiar category. She speaks softly, sticks close to the nearest family member, drinks soup without spills (don't know how she accomplishes that), politely asks us to get her what she needs (this includes checking if she can use the toilet or needs to go in her pull-ups) and let's us put on a bib for her. So, obviously when we went out for a big family dinner last night I was sure of having a smooth and enjoyable evening.

The evening started with her insisting that she wanted to eat with chopsticks. On being presented with a set, she very politely handed one back to waiter and proceeded to eat her noodles with one chopstick. The waiter looked at me (who by the way was using both her chopsticks) with a raised eyebrow and all I could do was smile sheepishly. Next she asked for a glass of watermelon juice and was told that they had fresh orange, grape and sweet lime juices. She smiled sweetly and asked if they could get her some watermelon pieces please. When the plate of freshly cut watermelon arrived, she took her water glass, and proceeded to squeeze the juice out of the pieces into the glass. I asked her to stop immediately and was told that she was teaching the nice man to make watermelon juice! Finally when I was busy having a conversation with my sister-in-law, the waiter informed me that my daughter was throwing her food on the floor. I turned to her in shock, only to be told that she was clearing her plate just like I had asked her too! The princess was sent to watch the fountain in the hotel lobby with her cousins, while we adults finished our meal. Hope she didn't think I was rewarding her behaviour, it was more a case of getting her out of sight of the hyperventilating staff

Someone please remind me to think before I give instructions to a two-year old. They 'literally' take you at face value. Or is this just my little girl? And I couldn't even scold her for being naughty, since I have told her that if she understands why she's doing something and I understand it as well, we will only discuss how we can do better. Oh! the trials of modern, rational parenting.

Mom, Baby and Me

I've had such a great weekend and I'm brimming with ideas for a post. However, I just realized that I missed my weekly book review and decided to catch-up with that today. 


Since I generally read 3-4 books at a time,it usually takes a while to decide on a book. Thankfully, or sadly (depends on how you look at it) there is no competition this time. The book that's really stayed with me is 'Like Mother, Like Daughter' from the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. 

I don't know what most people feel about the Chicken Soup series, I personally feel they are great when taken one book at a time with a substantial gap in between. I happened to pick up this particular book from my 12 year old niece's room on a quiet Sunday afternoon. My daughter and niece where busy cooking in her Dora kitchen and I just wanted to laze around. 


The stories were sentimental (what you generally expect from a Chicken Soup Book) while at the same time being upbeat and real! The realness (for want of a better word) of the mother daughter relationships was what got to me. Right from turning to your mom when you have your first baby, to the fights where we feel like they just can't let us go, I could relate to almost every emotion in the book. Apart from that, there where also stories that triggered off my maternal feelings and made me look at my excited little daughter with a gentle smile on my lips. From the pains of midnight feeds and tantrums to the joys of waking up to a baby's wide smile and little hug, this book has it all covered.


On the downside, I don't think you can read the whole book at one go, since it tends to get a bit mushy. The way I would use it is: first, obviously on the days that I feel down and overworked; secondly on the days when you want an idea on how to thank you mom or daughter for being who they are and loving you.


One thing the book reminded me of is that, life always comes full circle.


   

Doing it all over again

Today's is my little brother's 26th birthday and I miss being with him. Even though I'm married with a baby, I can't believe my little brother is in his twenties, a successful trader who I see once in three to six months. I've always considered him my first child and still call him baby within our family circle (he would never live it down if I called him that in public).

We always were and are very close and both of us never imagined that we would live apart. In fact not very long ago, probably about 10 years back, we used to have animated discussions over what our shared grown-up flat would be like. We both share a love of books, and the only arguments we have ever had are over who would read the latest Wilbur Smith first, though we are very different in other aspects. My relationship with this baby of mine has been a defining constant throughout my life. First, I was his second mommy, then his friend and sister and now we are semi-equals (he still listens to me) taking and giving each other advice, support and love.

This unconditional love of a sibling is what I want for my daughter. This is the reason that, even though we can't afford another child now, financially or otherwise (in terms of time), I feel strongly that we need to have at least one more. The best gift my parents ever gave me was my brother and my child deserves the same sort of support and companionship. This in my mind has way more value than any other inheritance I can ever give her. Even after we are gone, she will have family to love her and for her to love, an unbreakable lifelong bond.

So though this entry has gotten a little mushy, I have come to a conclusion. However, tough it's going to be to go through the nursing, sleepless nights, potty-training and time management exercises again, I want to do it. This is truly the best gift I can give my baby girl.

Happy birthday my darling first baby, you are in my thoughts always. I heavenly you.

I'm the Working Mummy

Writing has always been my chosen form of self-expression. Up until I became a mom, writing in my diary was satisfying enough. But when I entered this new phase of life, I realized that I wanted to connect with other people who were going through the same stuff. And that's what I hope to do through this blog, make a whole bunch of new friends who can guide me or at the minimum commensurate and celebrate with me.

Being a mummmy is by far the toughest thing I have ever had to do. I have a gorgeous and sweet-tempered baby, however I absolutely hated the first year of being a mom (more about that in another entry). I don't think my daughter is to blame for this, it's totally because of the kind of person I am:
- I love spending time on my own - reading, painting (you don't get much of this when you have a baby or toddler attached to you). Even after I got married, if my husband was busy I would happily take off to go have lunch at a coffee shop with just my book for company.
- I have to 'do' something fun or exciting everyday, or at least every weekend. I can't stand having one day be exactly like the next
- I love working. I just can't be a housewife or a stay at home mom. I tried being a housewife for three months, during my first year of marriage. I drove my husband crazy and he begged me to go do whatever makes me happy.
Am I a freak or there other mummy's out there like me? Can you love your baby with all your heart and still want to go to work, leaving her behind everyday. Because if I'm honest, though I need to work for the financial comfort it gives me, I also want to work (even though my husband is willing to be the sole breadwinner).