This is Special. Care to Share?

As the second challenge of the Back to Blogging exercise by the girls at SITS, we were asked to chose one post which we wish more people had read. Well, for me there was no hesitation here. This is my favorite post to date and one I really want to share with a lot more people. So here it is again.

Doing It All Over Again

Today's is my little brother's 26th birthday and I miss being with him. Even though I'm married with a baby, I can't believe my little brother is in his twenties, a successful trader who I see once in three to six months. I've always considered him my first child and still call him baby within our family circle (he would never live it down if I called him that in public).

We always were and are very close and both of us never imagined that we would live apart. In fact not very long ago, probably about 10 years back, we used to have animated discussions over what our shared grown-up flat would be like. We both share a love of books, and the only arguments we have ever had are over who would read the latest Wilbur Smith first, though we are very different in other aspects. My relationship with this baby of mine has been a defining constant throughout my life. First, I was his second mommy, then his friend and sister and now we are semi-equals (he still listens to me) taking and giving each other advice, support and love.

This unconditional love of a sibling is what I want for my daughter. This is the reason that, even though we can't afford another child now, financially or otherwise (in terms of time), I feel strongly that we need to have at least one more. The best gift my parents ever gave me was my brother and my child deserves the same sort of support and companionship. This in my mind has way more value than any other inheritance I can ever give her. Even after we are gone, she will have family to love her and for her to love, an unbreakable lifelong bond.

So though this entry has gotten a little mushy, I have come to a conclusion. However, tough it's going to be to go through the nursing, sleepless nights, potty-training and time management exercises again, I want to do it. This is truly the best gift I can give my baby girl.

Happy birthday my darling first baby, you are in my thoughts always. I heavenly you.


As you can see I wrote this post from the heart. Though this is true with a lot of bloggers, for me it goes two ways. I may feel strongly about something, however my writing style can also be objective rather than subject if the topic is not a personal one.


Anyway, back to the topic of my favorite post. What do you feel? Am I an exception in this generation or the norm.


*I'd like to thank the generous sponsors of this challenge,   Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.

At the beginning again

"Why did I start blogging?" it's something I ask myself when I'm stressed out and don't have enough time to dedicate to 'me' activities like blogging. The situation I am in (usually) when I voice the question is precisely why. I wanted to know that I'm not alone in struggling to reach my goals (on my tough days) and to share my triumphs on my good days. So with that little preamble here's my first ever post on this blog:

I'm The Working Mummy


Writing has always been my chosen form of self-expression. Up until I became a mom, writing in my diary was satisfying enough. But when I entered this new phase of life, I realized that I wanted to connect with other people who were going through the same stuff. And that's what I hope to do through this blog, make a whole bunch of new friends who can guide me or at the minimum commensurate and celebrate with me. 

Being a mummmy is by far the toughest thing I have ever had to do. I have a gorgeous and sweet-tempered baby, however I absolutely hated the first year of being a mom (more about that in another entry). I don't think my daughter is to blame for this, it's totally because of the kind of person I am:

- I love spending time on my own - reading, painting (you don't get much of this when you have a baby or toddler attached to you). Even after I got married, if my husband was busy I would happily take off to go have lunch at a coffee shop with just my book for company.

- I have to 'do' something fun or exciting everyday, or at least every weekend. I can't stand having one day be exactly like the next.

- I love working. I just can't be a housewife or a stay at home mom. I tried being a housewife for three months, during my first year of marriage. I drove my husband crazy and he begged me to go do whatever makes me happy.

Am I a freak or are there other mummy's out there like me? Can you love your baby with all your heart and still want to go to work, leaving her behind everyday. Because if I'm honest, though I need to work for the financial comfort it gives me, I also want to work (even though my husband is willing to be the sole breadwinner).


There you go, the real, naive me laid bare. I published this on the 23rd of April this year, so it's probably too early to analyze if I've grown as a writer. I did realize one thing, I use 'Mom' and Mum' interchangeably, what does that say about me?


I want to let you in on a little secret, the first EVER post that I have written was not on this blog. It's a private blog but I'm going to share it with you. The entry doesn't even have a title, it's just an outpouring of thoughts. Depending on the response to this, I just may continue with that blog. So her's the entry I wrote on 18th November 2009:


Don't you sometimes wish, the world could be a little dreamily blurred around the edges. I know we have to live with reality and I'm fine with that but there are moments when you want all the realism to recede a bit. Dreams don't have to be unrealistic, just a nicer life option that you could be striving towards. Take my dream job for example; I would be running a book store cum cafe, where we would have a story-telling corner, book clubs, neighbours dropping in for their morning caffeine fix and yummy mummies coming in for their weekly meet-ups(maybe I'll add on a play area for toddlers!). The everyday steps of working towards this dream job are not so dreamy. For now hubby and I have quit our jobs and are working on our healthcare start-up. We've always wanted to run a socially responsible business and this is our chance. So before I embark on my cafe owning business, we first need to make a success of our start-up company. Luckily, I enjoy running this business way more than my previous 9 to 5 (or rather 9 to 9) job.

The modern day dreamer's refuge seems to be the neighbourhood coffee shop. Why? Though my home is my sanctuary,it's more so during the evening, when my daughter's in bed reading a bedtime story with her daddy, I'm sipping on a cup of Moroccon Mint with a chick-lit novel and the whole world is getting ready to slip into the world of dreams. During the day, it's more of to-do lists, interacting with the in-laws and rushing of to work - the practicalities of living. At a coffee shop, you have soothing music being piped in, a calmish atmosphere and time to just enjoy the moment with your favourite beverage. I rest my case.


*I have the girls at SITS to thank for this 'back to blogging post'. This challenge is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.

Going into Business with the Techie

We are finally done with the public launch of our company and I can get back to squeezing in some blogging time. I've just realized how hard it is to write again when you have been on a break. The ideas are there, however, the flow is not smooth. Any tips there? So here's my attempt at putting my thoughts down on paper (virtually).

When people realize that the techie and I run a business together, the first thing they ask is "What's it like to work with your husband? Don't you get tired of each other?" I used to wonder about the same thing when I heard of such situations, before we started our little venture, and now I finally have an answer.

I hate it, however I wouldn't trade it for the world. Confused, well so am I, so you can keep me company.

The techie handles marketing and projects, while I run operations and finance. Point is we are always fighting over our different areas of operation and can't help discussing work to the exclusion of all else, except our daughter. This means we have absolutely no personal time. Secondly, at least in the near future, we cannot take a holiday together. Due to the size, nature and newness (pardon the word) of our operations, one of us has to be on hand at all time. This means we take separate breaks, if we do get to take a break. Plus, we have to be completely reachable and ready to take decisions (with all relevant updates and information) even when on holiday.

The benefits are that we though work long and unusual hours, we can support each other in all aspects including child-care (though the onus for domestic arrangements falls on me and business arrangements fall on him).

At the end of the day, I don't know if I can ever go back to a regular job, were we see each other only at the end and beginning of the day, even if we get to take family vacations.

Example, last week the techie went on a break with the boys for two days. I had loads of work since I had to cover for him as well. However, I was bored out of my mind since I couldn't pick-up the inter-office phone and pick a fight with him!

Don't try to understand me, I'm too complicated even for me. All I can say is, it's literally a 'partnership' in every sense of the word for us.

P.S. - Have just decided that this will be the first in a mini-series of posts on working with your spouse. Who knows what enlightenment I may get from the introspection and my fellow bloggers.

New Experience - Press Meet

Just wanted to share this with all of you. 

We had our first big press meet today. It was scary and exhilarating. Scary, since we have officially announced our name and  plans to the world and now have to deliver big time. Exhilarating, since all the work of the last one year is starting to taking shape. 

I will post more on this later. This entry was a quickie, just to share my 'high' with all you wonderfully supportive people. 

Stay tuned and keep rooting for us. I will definitely return the favour. 

Philosophy - Who makes the rules

I'm not a philosopher by nature, nor do I enjoy politics, thought I love debating. However, there are times when I come across a certain type of thinking that makes me stop and ponder. Today, I decided to share one of those points of view that affect me a lot.

I read this in a Wilbur Smith novel*:
"There is terrorism from above - as well as from below...... If you define terrorism as extreme physical or physiological coercion used to induce others to submit to the will of the terrorist - there is the legal terror threat of the gallows, the religious terror threat of hell fire, the paternal terror threat of the cane - are those more morally justifiable than the aspiration of the weak, the poor, the politically oppressed, the powerless victims of an unjust society? Is their scream of protest to be strangled... Laws are made by man, almost always by the rich and the powerful - laws are changed by men, usually only after militant action."
 
What do you make of this reasoning? Especially when so many of us are parents?

Once your through thinking on that, read what comes later on, it's on the same topic:
"This is the test. No matter how much we personally feel the demands are just, yet we must oppose to the death the manner in which they are presented. If these people win their objects, it is a victory for the gun - and we place all mankind in jeopardy."

Writing is an art and writing which makes your readers think is a gift to them.

*I've reread all his novels at least 3-4 times and I learn something new every time. This guy writes from the heart and knows his subject intimately. I started reading his books when I was about 12-13 years old and still can't get enough.

Law and Order

I finally had an epiphany on why I haven't been able to blog regularly for the last month (excluding the vacation). It's because I don't manage my time well! Fine, I know it's not a a groundbreaking discovery, however, it does put me on the right path to getting rid of a lot of my stress.

What basically happens with me is - I start the day of fine, noting done all my tasks in order of urgency and importance. I even start working on the list with full concentration (I love striking of tasks from my list, so satisfying) and the best of intentions. Where I flounder is when an employee or family member interrupts and asks for my attention. I am totally unable to tell people to come back later. I have to resolve everybody's problems for them and before know it the day is over and I have over 70% of my incomplete list (to which loads of other stuff has been added during the day) staring back at me. In addition to this, I tend to get so involved when I have a writing task that I lose all track of time.

So basically at the end of the day, I rush home, feed my baby, play with her and put her to bed. The time I spend with her I'm totally focused on her, however if she takes time to doze off I get impatient because I still have to tackle my list and get it all done before the next day dawns.

See this is where I go wrong. I should be pressurizing adults to keep to a schedule, not a two year old who just wants some extra cuddle time with her mummy! So, I decided to bring in a clear time management technique to handle my day. Let me tell you there are so many techniques out there that you need to make a schedule just to go through all that information. I finally settled on two major tools that seemed simple and efficient.

The first one was pretty obvious, set out fixed time slots for:

• Internal meetings
• Interviews  
• Meeting with visitors

Obviously, family members will be highly offended if I set out a time for them to get in touch with me. So had to accept those pleasant distractions as they were.

The second tool I stumbled across purely by chance and almost dismissed. It was managing your time in minutes! Come on I work 12-14 hours a day, that's an average of 780 minutes. I was pretty skeptic about this, until I read that the world's best lawyers, who bill their clients by the hour use this technique to track and manage their time. I was sold, come on, if it's good for top-notch lawyers, it's good enough for me.

This is how the concept basically works. You split your hour in batches of 7to 10 minutes and then assign parts of a schedule task for each slot. Over the course of the day you finish all your tasks. Apparently this method keeps your mind fresh and alert since you spend limited time focusing on each task at any point of time. Obviously, if you have pressing deadline you need to tweak the system a bit.

Anyway, I've listed out my major tasks for today and am all set. Obviously, the first ten minutes are up, since I use them to write this entry. Wish me luck and I'll let you know how things work out. Who knows maybe I'll  use this to manage my mommy/wife time as well!

Back on Track

I haven't forgotten my bloggy world. The muchkin and I just had an unexpected holiday. We took off on the spur of the moment for my parent's home and things just got more and more hectic from there.

Well, we are back now and I'm going to start reconnecting, so please don't walk away and forget about me. This world is what keeps me sane on the regular days.

Here are the highlights of our mini-vacation:

• The munchkin and me had a playdate with another blogger friend (her's is a private blog) and her adorable tot.
• We visited Atlantis and another underwater zoo with the grandparents. I was more excited than the little one!
• Shopped, shopped and shopped
• Watched "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" and "The Joneses" 
• I lost about 7 pounds with no effort! Unfortunately have put back 4 of those in the last two days.

That's the round-up for now. Watch this space for regular posts from tomorrow.