Change is the Only Constant

I finally got my life in order and so am back to my not-so-secret blogging life. I've missed all of you and hope to catch-up with your news. One thing I've noticed on my bloggy strolls is that most bloggers are having a slump in the first few months of 2011 (though I am the worst of the lot)! Coincidence? Blog overload or is it a seasonal setting-my-life-in-order phase *shrug*. Anyhow, I have made a couple of changes:

• I've moved to wordpress. Blogger was good for to start with, however, it's not versatile enough for me 
• I'm going to slightly tweak my content to focus more on the non-mommy parts of my life. I'm not a true mommy blogger and it was restricting my style
• I'm going to try and blog thrice a week. Hopefully, this will push me to be a lot more regular

So come along and find me at Seeking Synergy where I try to balance out the different aspects of my life to create a better whole.

P.S. - Please don't walk off. I would really love to have all of you continue this journey with me. You're my inspiration and the reason I log on.
      

Coping

This is what I've been doing for the past one month (and why I've been such an irregular blogger):

• 5.45 am - Get V's milk ready. (Though she stopped with her bottle at 1.2 years, she still needs to start the day with a cup of warm milk. She uses a straw)
• 6.00 am - Give V her milk and start on getting the house straightened out for the day
• 8.00 am - Get V ready for school - brush, potty, bath, dress, breakfast, vitamins, pack lunch
• 8.45 am - Drop V off at school and rush to work
• 11.30 am - Leave to pick V up from school
• 12.00 pm - Take V home and feed her lunch
• 1.00 pm - Settle V down for a nap while following up on emails
• 2.00 pm - Leave for work
• 10.00 pm - Leave the office (the techie was going home for V's bedtime, though there were days when he couldn't make it and I had to fit that in as well)
• 11.30 pm - Catch-up on work with the techie
• 12.30 am - Relax with a book and cup of herbal tea
• 1.00 am - Crash
•  3.30 am - Get-up for a quick nappy change before crashing again (I have no intention of night toilet training till V's three)

Now that the new nanny is on board, this week should be easier *fingers and toes crossed*. Pray for me fellow mamas and bloggers.

How do you cope with a nanny/daycare/babysitter crises?

The Nanny Hold-Up

Happy New Year. I love fresh starts and the possibilities they promise. One possibility I would love is a proper vacation at an exotic location with some serious pampering. Right now I'm strapped for cash and time, so am trying to make do with virtual vacationing via the net.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but if I had to choose who came with me on a holiday, this is how I would think:
- baby free holiday (yeah, I wish), then definitely the husband. I mean we haven't had our second honeymoon yet!
- holiday with the baby:
   1. hmmmmmmm.....I can take the nanny and spend the whole day at the spa or
   2. I can take the husband (who is a great dad and will definitely make sure I get some time off to relax) but we won't get any couple time, as he's totally devoted to V

I think my holiday dilemma gives people an idea of how attached I am to my nanny. Ok, not my nanny as an individual, but the nanny figure in my life. I totally need her to get through the day, at least 6 days a week. If she has an emergency and calls in the morning to say she can't make it, I completely lose it. That's because I basically have to spend the next hour or so organizing my little one's day and I have to take the second half of the day off from work or work from home with a little voice asking "Mummy if I play quietly will you finish working quickly and be with me?". Then the guilt kicks in and I can't focus.

Since our business is a  start-up, I spend about 10 hours at the office and work 4 hours at home (after the munchkin's bedtime). So in an ideal situation I have a morning nanny who picks V up from school and takes care of her till early evening after which a babysitter takes over till I get home for bath and bedtime.

All this being said and done, I'm currently nannyless and juggling working and babycare with the hubby. Thankfully our babysitter is available in the evenings for her regular shift. I think our desperate straits are common knowledge in the nanny world, along with the fact that we run our own business. Every nanny who comes to us for an interview is asking a salary that's double of what the market currently pays. And the perks! Although at this point I'm pretty open to anything expect the nanny getting into bed with the techie.

On second thoughts, if she finds him attractive would she do the night nappy duty in-exchange and let me have a night of full sleep! Worth thinking about.

New Year Aspirations

This has been a year of learning and growing for me. I like to think that I have blossomed as a person through the experiences I have had. The year centered around:

• starting a blog
• learning to be a mummy (I think this will be an ongoing aspect of my life as long as I live)
• struggling to get a start-up on it's feet while working with the techie (we have learnt to understand and accept each other a little better, I think)
• handling more responsibilities as a daughter to my parents and in-laws (and trying to support my grandparents a little better)
• just listening to my little brother as he goes through some big changes in his life (lots more to come in the new year) 

I began blogging primarily to get back on track with my writing. However, I've been overwhelmed by the amount of strength I'm been able to draw from the small but close-knit circle of friends that it has given me. As a bonus, it's brought me even closer to another mummy-friend of mine, who was little more than an acquaintance in school (Darling, you know who you are).

For the new year, I'm not going to make any resolutions. I'm only going to aspire to be happier and try not to dwell on the past or have any regrets. Hopefully, I'll spread around some of that happiness and joy.

I'm signing off now with a whole load of love and best wishes for my bloggy friends, who have given me so much this year. See you in 2011. Here's *raise imaginary glass of champagne* to more sharing, caring, happiness and fun in the coming year.

P.S.- This is my 49th post. So am starting the New Year with post no.50. Yay!

I Am the Way I Am and I Can be Anything

When I had my little girl  I promised myself that I would do my best to ensure that she had oodles of self-confidence. My husband also feels strongly on this, especially after seeing quite a few young girls we know, become obsessed with their being skinny and trying to do stuff to fit in with their crowd.

We identified two areas that seemed to contribute to high self-esteem (in our limited opinion) - being happy with the way you look and the assurance that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind on.

When it comes to body image, I'm like any other woman and occasionally do analyze my imperfections, however, I never feel insecure in the way I look (even if I'm look as if I'm carrying a baby in my tummy right now). The techie and I have made a conscious effort to never give importance our looks and weight (except in a health context) in front of V.  What we focus on, when we discuss our physical appearance is:

• The importance of grooming, with respect to hygiene and being presentable
• Physical fitness and it's relationship with outdoor play

Despite all this, she's still very much a little girl who loves to play dress-up and use my flavoured lip balms! However, she's not obsessed with the actual results just the blingyness (my own word) of it all.

My mom has thought the little munchkin a song that I love and constantly sing to her and myself:

I AM THE WAY I AM

I am the way I am and I'm very happy with that

I may be tall or I may be short, my body maybe thin or fat

It doesn't really matter at all

Because I am the way I am and I'm very happy with that

Try this song, it really does lift your spirits and is so much fun to sing together.

When it comes to ability, I always think of the movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. In the 'Dream Scene'   Will Smith gives his son a long list of reasons why he'll never be a good basket-ball player. Then he does a complete turn-about and says "Never let anybody tell you, you can't do something, not even me". I couldn't have put it better. This movie is our all time favourite (the techie and I) and we constantly use the lessons to motivate ourselves and our child. 

Anyway those are my random thoughts for today. What are you very particular about when it comes to nurturing your children?

A Few of My Favourite Things

Here is what's brightening-up my winter days:

• Watching Sully (the techie) and Boo (my baby) enjoying Monsters Inc together. They scream and boo and giggle all through the movie
• My morning strawberry indulgence shower and my baby smelling of fresh honey and toffee after her morning bath 
• Brownie pie (at my local coffee shop) with my afternoon americano (isn't it great how all those winter layers let you indulge without worrying about the effect on your hips and tummy)
• The seasonal glitter and shine every where I turn. "I love my bling darlings"
• Getting to wear my favourite leather coat on my mini-break last week (I haven't used it for three years!) 
• Meeting my BFF (and her new-born son) after a 2.5 long years apart 
• Climbing back onto the blogging bandwagon after a series of longish breaks
• Catching-up on great books I missed, like the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" series. One book down, two to look forward too
• My baby singing "My Favourite Things" from "The Sound of Music" at the top of her voice, while being totally oblivious to who's listening. I wish I could enjoying being "me" as much as she enjoys being "V"

What's cheering you up this December?

The Green-Eyed Monster

I really, really envy mothers who say:

•  "I never miss a day of blogging, because I blog in the mornings before my little ones (note the plural) are up. All you need to do is dash off your entry when the coffee is percolating or the toast is toasting (or some other @#$%^ing mutli-taskable activity is going on)"
• "I lay out clothes and accessories (which the toddler never pulls off) for the whole family before we retire (who speaks like this) every night. It makes life so much easier." (When? Doesn't your toddler hold on to your hand till she puts you to sleep and it's already 2 am when you open your eyes, so you just change beds?)
• "We love cuddling-up and reading a bedtime story before goodnight hugs and lights out. It's so soothing after my stressful day at work." (You read one story and end-up with a hug? I would rather face an angry customer than announce bedtime. At least the customer doesn't ask "why" after every statement/answer.)
• "I wore my first date dress, when the toddler was 10 months old. It was my anniversary gift to my husband - a fit, sexy wife." (I wore my 8th month maternity gown and maternity underpants while breast-feeding.) 
• "My husband and I are always in agreement over how to bring up our kids. We have similar value systems." (You have value systems? We have the good cop, bad cop routine down to an art. All our systems stop with the office.)
• "'Me time' is so important for a mother. I make it a point to spend one evening a week with the girls. The husband and I also plan a date-night every week to keep our romance alive." (I'm crying in frustration and have no smart comments here.)

I better sign-off now, before steam starts pouring out of this perfect mommy's ears.

Are We Really Good Business Partners?

I've always found that work helps me forget my worries, so I decided to focus on something that I've neglected for a while, my "working with your partner" series.

Last time I posted on this topic we discussed how to judge if going into business with your spouse is a good idea. We focused on a series of questions/potential-conflict areas that would help us judge the suitability of such a decision. I had promised to give my answers to those questions and that's exactly what I'm going to do here.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the list when I decided to embark on this journey with the techie, so my answers may be (a lot) less than perfect. Anyway, I'm taking the plunge now:

1. Is this what you really want and is it right for you?: The first part of this question is pretty easy. The techie and I have discussed this since the day we got engaged. The desire to go into business together was the one thing we had  in common (probably the only one, till today). With respect to the second part of the question, it seems right most of the time because both of us are excited to face new challenges everyday and we can play devil's advocate without getting personal (well most of the time). 
2. Why are you starting a business?: We both seem to have the appetite to take on risks and we have a shared dream to help the less fortunate through our social business. 
3. Who's vision is it?: I'm not ashamed to admit that the vision here is the techie's. I'm more of the getting things done kind of person. However, the vision grew from our desire to start a social business and all the research we put in to determine where there was a market gap.
4. Are your expectations of work life-balance the same?: We are aware that this is going to be a big part of our lives for the next decade, at a minimum, and have tried to plan our personal life accordingly. In terms of priorities we see eye to eye about 80% of the time, which I think is healthy and partly because we are sharing our life on all fronts.
5. Map out areas of management and responsibility: Based on our core strengths, experience and qualifications, we have divided up the work-load as - the techie covers marketing, projects (expansion) and IT, while I focus on operations and finance.
6. Can your relationship handle this arrangement?: This is undoubtedly the toughest question of the lot (we seems to have started with the easiest). Initially, I didn't give this much though since we seemed to be compatible on the big stuff, however, it's not all plain sailing. There are days when I really appreciate the fact that we can complement each other both at home and at work, while on other days divorce seems inevitable (luckily these are few and far apart). 

So those were my two cents on what it takes to work with your spouse. Though I think it's useful to ponder all the above points, you also need to trust your instincts. Do you think we are really good business partners or just good partners? Let me know if there's anything I missed out or  if you need help formulating your answers.

Medical Break

We've had a horrible week:

• The munchkin has been prodded, poked and scanned to diagnose her three week long fever
• My maternal grandfather is in the ICU waiting for his angiogram this morning
• My paternal grandmother is getting her MRI done for a suspected dislocated shoulder, right at this moment

So, please don't go away if I'm missing for a while. I'll be popping-up in all your comment sections for sure in the interim.

Weekend Zen

I realized one thing this week. It doesn't matter how many brilliant posts you write in your head, you need to put it out in the blogsphere for it to have any sort of real value. So before the next weekend starts, here's a post I've been meaning to write for the past seven days. This is not one of those brilliant post (you need to hang out here regularly to get to read those), however, it's a special one.

Last week I decided that I need to be more like the techie. When he's with the little one, he completely enjoys her. I understand that I can never be the same, since a mummy's balance of fun versus responsibility is different from a daddy's (at least in my limited experience). However, I have also understood that sometimes you just need to have fun and throw caution to the winds, because this time with my daughter will not come back. So, I attacked the weekend with this learning in ,mind (yes, I can plan a fun day too). Surprisingly, just the intention to have fun lead to a spontaneous zen-inducing day.

On the weekends our whole family gets together to relax. So, we have about 7 kids ranging from 1.10 years to 15 years throw together. The first half of the day was pretty much par for course. Grocery shopping, family lunch and a movie in the home theater while the younger ones napped. Post naps we stepped into the driveway to perfect weather conditions, bright sunshine and a cooling breeze. That's when I hit on my first idea, hopscotch. This may seem a bit silly to some of you, but today's kids either play organized sport or spend time on the phone, in-front off the computer/television. 

When I asked for some driveway chalk they were all intrigued. By the time I had the first box drawn out, I had 10 people helping me. We ended-up with 2 different layouts and marked them as level 1 and level 2. This has to be the most fun game of hopscotch I have played in years. The little ones just had fun jumping, while the older ones loved the challenge and the adults actually got some decent workouts.  The perfect way to enjoy the perfect day.

We didn't end with hopscotch. The enthusiastic competing gave all of us a big appetite and I decided to make my favourite spaghetti arrabiata (I know it's nothing special, but we love it). My 12 year old niece loves cooking and wanted to help me out. My toddler is my current kitchen helper. So the three of us set off to blanch the tomatoes. By the time the tomatoes where ready for peeling I had 5 kids in the kitchen (2 of the boys joined in and the littlest boy decided to keep pulling stuff of the workspace). They all peeled and chopped the tomatoes, smashed the garlic, and halved the spaghetti sticks. (Breaking the sticks was their favourite activity, thought the flying pieces of dry spaghetti  almost caused a few injuries. I finally had them close their eyes every time they snapped the sticks.) Everyone had a turn at stirring the sauce and tearing up the herbs. The troupe even enjoyed the clean-up part. All this fun also resulted in food that everyone loved (there were about 15-20 of us that evening).

The best part of this experience - I spent a fun, stress-free day with my baby.

This is what I've planned for tomorrow's zen experience - jump rope competitions followed by tofu and vegetable stir-fry with buck wheat noodles. (The little one's running a fever today, so don't know if this will actually materialize.) 

What do you do for family fun? I love new ideas and am always willing to use my husband and child as guinea pigs (just kidding).

Eat Pray Love

I've read the book and, finally, watched the movie*. I totally enjoyed both. If you thought I'm going to add to the plethora of reviews out there and bore you to death, I have a pleasant surprise for you. I'm not.  This is more of an observation post. We can call it "Eat Pray Love and the Crazy Mommy":

• I read the book in three installments, with a week break between each city. A book that size would normally be devoured by me in less than 48 hours. (I started speed reading way before the concept became common. Since I was reading Enid Blytons from the age of three.) I initially started reading it like a normal book, however when I got to the end of the Italy chapter I started reading up on the stuff referenced in the book. Let me tell you I had hours and hours of online fun. That's when I decided to do the same with the other cities. The end effect, I felt the movie was way to short, with not enough focus on the writer's descriptions of the cities. This didn't stop me from enjoying the movie throughly, I would have just liked more of it. 
• I dragged V along for the movie (she's loves going to the cinema and actually watches most of the movie). Halfway through the techie and I wished we hadn't brought her. In the scene where Julie Roberts and her beau are romancing, she insisted on explaining to the whole theater that "mummy and daddy are doing cozy, cozy"! I swear we only kiss and hug in front of her nothing more. V also learnt her new favourite word - "sexy". She kept saying "mummy, the daddy in the movie said sexy" and giggling throughout the break. Lucky, everyone around us thought she was cute and entertaining. My ears were red by the end of the show.
• The major outcome of the book and movie has been that I'm drooling over totally unaffordable houses in exotic locations. In fact, I now have 5 dream houses instead of one! I've also gone back to planning my post-retirement world-trip. (I hope to retire by 40, at the latest).

What effect did the book/movie have on you? Did everyone enjoy and analyze it as much as me, or am I just a one off case?

*I actually started this post on the 28th of October (we are not that behind with movies here) and didn't want to change it for authenticity sake. 

Bloggy Inspiration

Life has been so mad, that I actually forgot I have a blog. How lame is that!

Towards the end of October, I kept getting these amazing ideas for posts, however I didn't have the time to actually write them down. Now when I've finally logged in, I don't know what to write about! If this isn't a perfect example of irony, what is?

I think I read somewhere that most bloggers tire of their blogs within the first six months. Now, I definitely haven't gotten bored, just very busy and I absolutely don't want to give-up on my blog or lose the few readers I have. So I've decided to go and spend sometime reading the blogs that keep me going through the week and look for inspiration. Why don't you all come along and enjoy yourselves. I promise you some great reads:

• More Than Just A Mother* - This is the first mommy blog I ever read and till date it's my favourite. I dare you not to laugh out aloud. Infact, I would go so far as to say, that this mother got me to start blogging. If I spent as much time writing as I do reading her blog and thinking up interesting comments, I probably would have a book contract by now. She's pretty famous now, however, she still replies to most comments!
• Lost in translation - This is one tongue-in-cheek mommy blogger who loves poop. Her babies are bi-lingual and pretty entertaining. I found her blog after I started my own. I really appreciate the fact that she always takes time to visit and comment on her reader's blogs. This despite just having had her third baby!
• A Girl In Asia - This adventurer is truly awesome. She not only gives us great food insights of the cities she's lived in, she also connects her readers to other amazing travel and food bloggers. My personal favourite read, on this blog, is her aptly named 'Cafe Crush' series.
• Fashion Butter - When  I'm feeling down and dowdy, I turn to this greek girl for a bit of glamour. Her wedding pictures are dreamy. She can convert a regular cardigan into a glamorous dress! Trust me I need a lot of help in the glamour department, so if I can use her tips, so can you
• COCOCOZY - If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that I've been planning my dream house for ages. Well, this is where I go for a lot of my inspiration. I don't know how she gets around like she does, but you really do get a lot of tempting eye candy here. Though occasionally I am tempted in the direction of bank-robbery or grand fraud (just kidding, please don't hand me over to the authorities yet).
• It's a small world after all** - This is my dream life. I've been planning something like this since I was 18 and now she's gone and done it. Yeah, I'm referring to becoming a world resident (remember my one month in one country plan?). A couple and their three children take 9 months off real life to traverse the globe. How much better can it get?
• The Yummy Mummy** - Is about having a really good time with your kids in the kitchen (and not walking around in 6-inch heels). I found this lovely read when I was looking for ideas on weekend activities with my 2 year old. We love messing up the kitchen together, though to be fair, the toddler also enjoys clearing up! This lady is also one of the most generous bloggers I have ever come across and she's currently working on her soon to be published book.
• Just Another Mommy Blog - I heart this woman. There's this warm feeling you get when you read her posts. I think it's because she truly enjoys her role as a mom. Get this she has three blogs and homeschools all three of her children!

Now there are loads more blogs out there that I enjoy, however, this post was taking too long, so I just decided to go with the names that came to me first. I'll definitely be adding to the list going forward.

*I didn't not copy her blog name. I had already registered my blog and was searching for mommy blogs to understand how blogging worked when I came across this lovely mother of three.

**I have a confession to make. I read these blogs on my iPhone, when I'm patting my daughter to sleep every night. So even though I love them , I don't comment quite so much as I should. Sorry to you lovely bloggers, I adore you girls.

P.S.: I just realized I have no idea how blogging protocol works. I didn't bother to take the permission of these lovely women, I just linked their blogs and left a comment letting them know. Hope they don't get mad and ban me from their blogs. I doubt I'll survive the shame if that happens.

Star for an Hour

Today was another first for our company and me. The first time we were on air. Yes, we were interviewed on a radio show! (The techie has already been interviewed innumerable number of times on t.v. He has even been on the news. However, we'll forget all that for now and bask in our two minutes of attention.)

We had loads of fun, and I actually forgot all about being a mommy, wife and all those other things. The doctor, who was with me, was also a mother of two struggling to maintain some sort of balance in her chaotic life. We both left the home front to our husbands and raced out the door to have a fun morning with an early-twenty-something RJ, who showered us with compliments. We even had a mini photo shoot at the end (thank God, I wore my new Zara formal shirt and black diesel jeans) and got a lovely goodie bag. I did learn that I had to pick-up a little more on the local language though.

My mom heard the whole show (you can always count on them to be your biggest supporter and critic), while my daughter and husband listened in right through the pre-school routine. My angel was delighted to hear her mommy on the music box (I like to think a little more than see her daddy on t.v).

The show was a breakfast one and after each segment they play a popular tune. Half an hour into the show, they played a current favorite of my daughter's. When they finished the song and switched back to the interview, apparently my little angel is reported to have said "Daddy can you call mummy and ask her to talk later, I really want to just listen to the music"! So much for my soothing voice being the center of her existence.

Obviously, the CFO part of me came back to the office to find a bunch of tax returns on my desk. So, I bid a sad adieu to my two minutes of fame and got back to number crunching.

The Little Things I Do For My Mommy

I hate being coped up in the house and my munchkin takes after me. So any free time we get together we grab our stuff and rush put the door. We do movies (we even do late night shows on the weekend), shopping, eating visiting the library, going crazy on the beach, you name it and we've done it. Given our current lifestyle most of this is just me and her time.

So it's a given that she accompanies me into public toilets. Like I've mentioned before, for all my dislike of staying home, I do love having my own loo. Unfortunately, I'm not rich enough to have one follow me around, and I have a relatively weak bladder, so I have to use the commonly available ones. I refuse to sit on the seat of a public toilet without using a liner (when available) or covering it with toilet paper and my daughter is well aware of this fact.

At home though I allow my bum to touch the bare toilet seat I always stock a few extra rolls of toilet on the bookshelf next to the toilet. This is in case the current roll runs out halfway through my requirement.

A couple of days back I was rushing into the washroom at home for a pee when my daughter decided to chat with me as I relieved myself. Her reasoning, "Mummy you tell me stories to help me poop, so I'll tell you a story to help you pee". Simple and difficult to refute. She noticed the empty toilet paper  holder and immediately picked up a fresh roll and replaced it. "Mummy some silly person forgot to keep you toilet paper ready". (No really! who in my train of maids could have possibly made that mistake?) Then she proceeded to tear of little squares of paper and lay them on the seat. I was in pain by then and politely asked her what in the world she was doing. "Mummy, I know you like a pretty seat so I'm decorating it for you to sit and pee".
 

Discovering Pure Joy

I'm not talking about some swanky perfume. Hello, I'm a mummy, we don't indulge ourselves with such wasteful pleasures, or rather we pretend not to and do it on the sly.

What's more important is, this weekend I re-discovered true joy. Don't you remember the blissed out feeling that  used to wash over us once we handed in our last exam paper of the term and had 60 days of summer fun ahead. I unexpectedly had that experience after years.

We were having a family wine session on Saturday night. There was some dance music on, the adults were chattering away and the kids were going crazy trying to keep up with the music and their made up moves. All of a sudden my mom (who does not touch alcohol) nudged me and pointed at my daughter. My little angel was dancing, not her usual bounce, but real dance steps. Crossing her feet, doing a gentle wave with her arms and best of all she had this totally blissed out expression on her face. I can't explain how or why, but for the next 15 minutes I was as oblivious to my surroundings as my baby girl. Her pure joy in dancing some how transferred it self to me and I entered this trance like state of total contentment and serenity.

If this sounds too New Age to any of you, don't worry, it feels the same to me. This is not me, I'm an overworked, highly-stressed, over-analysing individual, like most moms of my generation.

However, for those 15 minutes I was in a place I thought had disappeared with my childhood.

When I came out of my trance I nudged the techie and pointed at the munchkin, with the hope that he would get a glimpse into paradise.  

Peeing like a Big Person

I thought my little one was toilet trained and have been pretty free with her at home. Obviously, we have an agreement that she wear pull-ups when we are away from the home turf for more than an hour. She's fine with this since she hates public toilets and I'm paranoid about UTI (urinary tract infection) from using public toilets. Plus I have no intention of going diaper free at night till she's three and can get up in the middle of the night to pee. Apart from this she's toilet trained and hasn't even worn diapers to play-school for the past 6 months.

About two days back she did her usual "mummy pee" shout and I went rushing to get her to the potty on time. What I found, was her proudly hanging on to the proper toilet (with both hands) and standing in a puddle of pee. She gave me a big smile and said, "see mummy, I peed like a big person"!

Apparently, she saw my 6 year old nephew (I guess 6 looks big when you're two) peeing and thought she would prove herself in the same way. I obviously have a lot of explaining to do on 'how' and 'why' boy-girl peeing methods are different.

For the moment I just applauded and then explained to her that if we sit on the toilet we only have to wash our hands and not our whole body, so we save a lot of playtime. (Imagine, if she did the same in a public toilet! I wouldn't even know how to start cleaning those little hands.)

Any tips on how to tackle this? I definitely did not anticipate this stuff during parenting 101.

Should I Work with My Husband

The basis for today's post is an article I read in an entrepreneurial magazine titled "Should You Go Into Business with Your Spouse?" If you look at my previous entry on what working with my husband is like you'll see how this article hit the right note with me. The writer had quite a few relevant, noteworthy points. I decided to put my own spin on these points and share them with people who are thinking about partnering outside the house.

So try and answer these before you take the leap:

• Is this what you really want and is it right for you?: I think this is the most important question to answer, since a lot of people do things for different reasons even when their instinct is not to go ahead with something. A strong factor to consider is the nature of your relationship, is it a case of opposites attract, peas in a pod or something entirely different. This analysis will let you know what to expect in a working relationship.
• Why are you starting a business?: The reason you are getting into a business may change as you and the business grow over time. However, when starting you need to know if this is something you want to incorporate into your life for the foreseeable future or if you want to build a brand and sell it in the long run. 
• Who's vision is it?: Both partners need to be on the same page when it comes to how and in which direction you want your business to head. Have you both agreed on the nature of the business and the method of operation? Do you share a common vision for your future business? If this isn't out of the way right at the beginning (at least on an outline basis) it could cause a bit of strife.
• Are your expectations of work-life balance the same?: This is a potentially explosive area. It starts right from your concept of work ethics (can we check personal mail during working hours, can we work flexible hours) to who handles what responsibilities on the home front and how will you manage personal emergencies.
• Map out areas of management and responsibility: This point may seem simple, since it's self-explanatory. However, when you have people joining your business as employees they will need clarity on the reporting hierarchy.
• Can your relationship handle this arrangement?: The crucial question, obviously. Look at it this way, a lot of people have a baby to try and strengthen a relationship that may not be working. A new business s the same. Have a frank discussion on whether your relationship balance and status will withstand being combined with a working relationship.

Let me know what you make of this exercise. Was it useful? Do you have anything to add?

Next up:

• Part 3 - My personal answers to these questions
• Part 4 - Guidelines on establishing a working relationship with your spouse

 If you find this series too boring, let me know and I'll add an alert at the beginning of such posts.

Title of Substance

This was the third post I wrote on this blog. It was the first time I used a title that distilled the gist of what I was trying to convey (or at least I thought so). Most of my titles are pretty subject focused rather than substance focused (if that makes any sense). I hope I've piqued your interest enough to get you to read on.

"Wrong Shoes Mummy"


My mornings seem to be unbelievably busy, though all I do is feed my daughter breakfast and make her use the potty (my husband does this on my yoga mornings) before getting both of us ready. The rush is despite the fact that I organize all our clothes and other stuff the previous night.

I invariably lose my cool, when my daughter starts choosing what footwear she wants to wear to school. I mean she just turned 2 in April, isn't it too early for her to have a fashion sense? Anyway, this crazy morning rush was what caused one of my most uncomfortable days at work (since we started our own business).

It was a usual weekday morning and I had just about managed to get everyone in the car (we drop our daughter off at school on the way to work). The little one kept saying "Mummy, wrong shoes, wrong shoes". I shushed her with a "behave yourself" as I tried to feed her the cereal she had refused to eat at home. When we finally got to school she gave my husband a big hug and kiss before getting off. While I walked her to the gate, she had a last try "Mummy, your shoes are wrong" (she often gets mine and yours mixed-up). I ignored her comments and hugged her, she in turn gave me a kiss and a confused stare before heading indoors with her favorite teacher.

Half an hour later, I was holding my first discussion of the day in the corridor of our office, even before I reached my desk, when my accountant walked past and gave me a quizzical look. I smiled at her and continued the conversation. Throughout the day I kept getting these confused stares from people and couldn't figure them out. I finally found out why when I bent down to retrieve a fallen bill. Horror of horrors, I had worn my water-proof house-slippers, the variety with a red and black floral design to work!

While I was busy shushing her, my poor little baby was trying to save me from embarrassing myself at work. Now, I pay a lot more attention to her morning comments and try and stop myself from shushing her in general. I've realized one thing, she is totally focused on the moment, unlike her preoccupied mom.

I have a lot to learn from you my sweetheart.


Does the title suit the post? What title would you have used for this entry?


*Thank you to the SITS girls and their wonderful sponsors, sponsors, Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances for getting me out of a blogging slump with this challenge.

This is Special. Care to Share?

As the second challenge of the Back to Blogging exercise by the girls at SITS, we were asked to chose one post which we wish more people had read. Well, for me there was no hesitation here. This is my favorite post to date and one I really want to share with a lot more people. So here it is again.

Doing It All Over Again

Today's is my little brother's 26th birthday and I miss being with him. Even though I'm married with a baby, I can't believe my little brother is in his twenties, a successful trader who I see once in three to six months. I've always considered him my first child and still call him baby within our family circle (he would never live it down if I called him that in public).

We always were and are very close and both of us never imagined that we would live apart. In fact not very long ago, probably about 10 years back, we used to have animated discussions over what our shared grown-up flat would be like. We both share a love of books, and the only arguments we have ever had are over who would read the latest Wilbur Smith first, though we are very different in other aspects. My relationship with this baby of mine has been a defining constant throughout my life. First, I was his second mommy, then his friend and sister and now we are semi-equals (he still listens to me) taking and giving each other advice, support and love.

This unconditional love of a sibling is what I want for my daughter. This is the reason that, even though we can't afford another child now, financially or otherwise (in terms of time), I feel strongly that we need to have at least one more. The best gift my parents ever gave me was my brother and my child deserves the same sort of support and companionship. This in my mind has way more value than any other inheritance I can ever give her. Even after we are gone, she will have family to love her and for her to love, an unbreakable lifelong bond.

So though this entry has gotten a little mushy, I have come to a conclusion. However, tough it's going to be to go through the nursing, sleepless nights, potty-training and time management exercises again, I want to do it. This is truly the best gift I can give my baby girl.

Happy birthday my darling first baby, you are in my thoughts always. I heavenly you.


As you can see I wrote this post from the heart. Though this is true with a lot of bloggers, for me it goes two ways. I may feel strongly about something, however my writing style can also be objective rather than subject if the topic is not a personal one.


Anyway, back to the topic of my favorite post. What do you feel? Am I an exception in this generation or the norm.


*I'd like to thank the generous sponsors of this challenge,   Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.

At the beginning again

"Why did I start blogging?" it's something I ask myself when I'm stressed out and don't have enough time to dedicate to 'me' activities like blogging. The situation I am in (usually) when I voice the question is precisely why. I wanted to know that I'm not alone in struggling to reach my goals (on my tough days) and to share my triumphs on my good days. So with that little preamble here's my first ever post on this blog:

I'm The Working Mummy


Writing has always been my chosen form of self-expression. Up until I became a mom, writing in my diary was satisfying enough. But when I entered this new phase of life, I realized that I wanted to connect with other people who were going through the same stuff. And that's what I hope to do through this blog, make a whole bunch of new friends who can guide me or at the minimum commensurate and celebrate with me. 

Being a mummmy is by far the toughest thing I have ever had to do. I have a gorgeous and sweet-tempered baby, however I absolutely hated the first year of being a mom (more about that in another entry). I don't think my daughter is to blame for this, it's totally because of the kind of person I am:

- I love spending time on my own - reading, painting (you don't get much of this when you have a baby or toddler attached to you). Even after I got married, if my husband was busy I would happily take off to go have lunch at a coffee shop with just my book for company.

- I have to 'do' something fun or exciting everyday, or at least every weekend. I can't stand having one day be exactly like the next.

- I love working. I just can't be a housewife or a stay at home mom. I tried being a housewife for three months, during my first year of marriage. I drove my husband crazy and he begged me to go do whatever makes me happy.

Am I a freak or are there other mummy's out there like me? Can you love your baby with all your heart and still want to go to work, leaving her behind everyday. Because if I'm honest, though I need to work for the financial comfort it gives me, I also want to work (even though my husband is willing to be the sole breadwinner).


There you go, the real, naive me laid bare. I published this on the 23rd of April this year, so it's probably too early to analyze if I've grown as a writer. I did realize one thing, I use 'Mom' and Mum' interchangeably, what does that say about me?


I want to let you in on a little secret, the first EVER post that I have written was not on this blog. It's a private blog but I'm going to share it with you. The entry doesn't even have a title, it's just an outpouring of thoughts. Depending on the response to this, I just may continue with that blog. So her's the entry I wrote on 18th November 2009:


Don't you sometimes wish, the world could be a little dreamily blurred around the edges. I know we have to live with reality and I'm fine with that but there are moments when you want all the realism to recede a bit. Dreams don't have to be unrealistic, just a nicer life option that you could be striving towards. Take my dream job for example; I would be running a book store cum cafe, where we would have a story-telling corner, book clubs, neighbours dropping in for their morning caffeine fix and yummy mummies coming in for their weekly meet-ups(maybe I'll add on a play area for toddlers!). The everyday steps of working towards this dream job are not so dreamy. For now hubby and I have quit our jobs and are working on our healthcare start-up. We've always wanted to run a socially responsible business and this is our chance. So before I embark on my cafe owning business, we first need to make a success of our start-up company. Luckily, I enjoy running this business way more than my previous 9 to 5 (or rather 9 to 9) job.

The modern day dreamer's refuge seems to be the neighbourhood coffee shop. Why? Though my home is my sanctuary,it's more so during the evening, when my daughter's in bed reading a bedtime story with her daddy, I'm sipping on a cup of Moroccon Mint with a chick-lit novel and the whole world is getting ready to slip into the world of dreams. During the day, it's more of to-do lists, interacting with the in-laws and rushing of to work - the practicalities of living. At a coffee shop, you have soothing music being piped in, a calmish atmosphere and time to just enjoy the moment with your favourite beverage. I rest my case.


*I have the girls at SITS to thank for this 'back to blogging post'. This challenge is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.